satisfaction. Th' opening
day iv th' steeplechase races was a success. Th' ilivator in th' left
annex fell thirteen stories Thursday, but no wan was injured. Th'
brokerage house iv Conem an' Comp'ny wint into th' hands iv a receiver
to-day. Th' failure was due to th' refusal iv th' banks to lend anny
more money on hat pools. Th' steeple iv th' Swedenborjan Church is
undher repair. Th' _Daily Fog Horn_ has put in three new color presses
an' will begin printin' a colored supplement Sunday next.' An' so it
goes. It ain't a boat at all. It's a city.

"At laste I thought it was but Hannigan that come over in it says it's
a boat. 'Ye must've had a grand time,' says I, 'in this floatin' palace,
atin' ye'er fill iv sumchuse food an' gazin' at th' beautifully jooled
ladies,' says I. 'Ah,' says I, 'th' wondhers iv science that cud put
together a conthrivance th' like iv that,' says I. 'It's a boat,' says
he. 'That's th' best I can say about it,' says he. 'Did ye not glide
noiselessly through th' wather?' says I? 'I did not,' says he. 'Divvle
th' glide. We bumped along pretty fast an' th' injines made noises like
injines an' th' ship creaked like anny ship.' 'An' wasn't th' food
fine?' 'It depinded on th' weather. There was plenty iv it on good days,
an' too much iv it on other days.' 'An' th' beautifully jooled ladies?'
'No wan knew whether th' ladies were beautifully jooled except th' lady
that searched thim at th' custom house.

"'Don't ye make a mistake, Dooley,' says he. 'A boat's a boat. That's
all it is. Annything ye can get at sea ye can get betther on land. A
millyonaire is made as comfortable on an ocean liner as a longshoreman
on earth an' ye can play that comparison all th' way down to th'
steerage. Whin I read about this here floatin' palace I says to mesilf:
I'll add a little money and go acrost in oryental luxury. Whin I got
aboord th' decks were crowded with happy people worryin' about their
baggage an' wondherin' already whether th' inspector in New York wud get
onto th' false bottom iv th' thrunks. I give th' old an' enfeebled
English gintleman that carried me satchel a piece iv silver. He touched
his cap to me an' says Cue. Cue is th' English f'r I thank ye
kindly in Irish. He carrid me bag downstairs in th' ship. We kept goin'
down an' down till we touched bottom, thin we rambled through long lanes
neatly decorated with steel girders till we come to a dent in th' keel.
That was me boodoor. At laste part iv it