se she is sure to be in a quiver
till her bow comes, and can't go off without one.

Why are teeth like verbs? Because they are regular, irregular, and
defective.

What hands are those which work night and day, yet never wear out;
which, although they strike, do not stop? Clock hands.

What's the difference between a gardener and a billiard marker? One
minds his peas, the other his cues.

What is that which denotes the state of mind and of the body? The
tongue.

Why are books your best friends? Because, when they bore you, you can
shut them up without giving offense.

Why, when you are out in a boat, should you never be surprised by a
sudden squall? Because, if you go for a sale, you may expect to be
sold.

Why is no country free? Because anybody is liable to be sold by
auction whom it is possible for the auctioneer to take in.

Why, if a man has a gallery of paintings, may you pick his pockets?
Because he has picked yours (pictures).

Why are pipes all humbugs? Because the best of them are but
meer-shams.

Where can you find every word of your last interesting conversation
with Miss all written down, word for word? In the dictionary.

What is that which a cat has but no other animal? Kittens.

Why is an egg like a colt? Because it isn't fit for use until it's
broken.

How is it guns can kick when they have no legs? They kick with their
breeches.

Why is a sporting clergyman like a soldier who runs from battle?
Because he departs from his sphere of action.

When is a soldier charitable? When he presents arms.

Why are cowardly soldiers like tallow candles? Because when they're
exposed to the fire they run.

When may an army be said to be totally destroyed? When the soldiers
are all in quarters.

Why is a defeated army like wool? Because it's worsted.

What sort of men are most aboveboard in their movements? Chessmen.

Why should good-natured people never go to small dancing parties?
Because hops produce great bitterness.

What is tantalizing? Giving invitations only to teas.

Why is flirting like plate-powder? Because it brightens the spoons.

What is a kiss? A receipt given you by a lady on paying your
addresses.

When are kisses sweetest? When sirup-titiously (surreptitiously)
obtained.

Why are two young ladies kissing each other an emblem of
Christianity? Because they are doing unto each other as they would
men should do unto them.

Why is confessing to a father confessor like kil