ling bees? Because
you un-buzz-'em (unbosom).

When does a leopard change his spots? When he moves from one spot to
another.

When an old woman in a scarlet cloak was crossing a field in which a
goat was browsing, what took place? The goat turned to butter (butt
her), and the old woman into a scarlet runner.

What is the most wonderful animal in the farmyard? A pig, for he is
killed and then cured.

Why is an elephant's head different from every other head? Because if
you cut his head off his body you do not take it from the trunk.

Which has most legs, a cow or no cow? No cow has eight legs.

What is the difference between the cradle and the grave? The one is
for the first born, the other for the last bourn.

Why must a Yankee speculator be very subject to water on the brain?
Because he always has an ocean (a notion) in his head.

What trees has fire no effect upon? Ashes, as when burned, they are
ashes still.

If a tree were to break the panes of a window, what would they say?
Tree, mend us (tremendous).

When is a charade like a fir-tree? When you get a deal bored from its
length.

Why is a jeweler like a screeching singer? Because he pierces the
ears.

Why is an old man's head like a song executed by an indifferent
singer? Because it is often terribly bawled (bald).

Why is a piano like an onion? Because it's mell-odious (melodious).

What sort of medicine is most like a sick monkey? A pill (ape-ill).

When is a girl like a mirror? When she's a good-looking (g)lass.

What is the difference between some women and their looking-glasses?
They talk without reflecting, and the mirrors reflect without
talking.

What is the best way to prevent water coming into your house? Do not
pay your water rates.

What do ladies look for when they go to church? The hymns (hims).

When may a man's coat-pocket be empty and yet have something in it?
When it has a hole in it.

What is the difference between a sweep and a man in mourning? One is
blacked with soot, and the other is suited with black.

What is the difference between killed soldiers and repaired garments?
The former are dead men, the latter are mended (men dead).

Why does a salmon die before it lives? Because its existence is ova
before it comes to life.

When is a schoolboy like a postage stamp? When he is licked and put
in the corner to make him stick to his letters.

What is the difference between an engine-driver and a schoolmaster?
One m