e).

What is the difference between a last will and testament and a man
who has eaten as much as he can? One is signed and dated, and the
other is dined and sated.

What is the greatest feat, in the eating way, ever known? That
recorded of a man who commenced by bolting a door, after which he
threw up a window, and then sat down and swallowed a whole story.

How should love come to the door? With a ring.

If a mercenary man were to ask a girl to marry, what flower would he
name? Any money (anemone).

When may two people be said to be half-witted? When there is an
understanding between them.

Why is the science of self-defense like low tide? It develops the
muscles.

Why should a teetotaler never take a wife? He will not sup-porter
(support her).

Why should free seats at church be abolished? They make people good
for nothing.

What relation is the door-mat to the threshold? A step-father
(farther).

When is love deformed? When it is all on one side.

Where have you the most extended view? In a hop-garden, for then you
see from pole to pole.

What burns to keep a secret? Sealing wax.

Plant the setting sun, and what will come up? The morning glory.

Why is a dog with a lame leg like a boy ciphering? He puts down three
and carries one.

Why are eyes like stage-horses? They are always under the lash.

What is the brightest idea of the day? Your eye, dear.

Why are ladies bathing like a Yankee drink? They are 'lasses in
water.

Of what color is grass under snow? Invisible green.

What is the hardest conundrum? Life, because we all have to give it
up.

What is that which is often given you, which you never have, yet
which you often give up? A conundrum.

What kin is that child to his own father who is not his own father's
son? His daughter.

If Dick's father is Tom's son, what relation is Dick to Tom? Tom is
his grandfather.

When does a man sneeze three times? When he cannot help it.

Why does a piebald pony never pay toll? Because his master pays it
for him.

When may a man be said to have four hands? When he doubles his fists.

What goes over the water and under the water, but never touches the
water? A woman crossing a bridge with a pail of water on her head.

How many peas in a pint? One.

When is a soldier like a watch? When he is on guard.

How is a poultry dealer compelled to earn his living? By fowl means.

Why is a butcher's cart like his top boots? Because he carries his