ory? The date.

Why is the superintendent of a children's play-ground like a stranded
vessel? Because he runs a-ground.

Why is the road-bed laborer on a railroad like a hunted bear in the
mountains? Because he makes tracks for his life.

Why is the engineer of a train like an aeronaut? Because he
frequently slows down.

Why is it impossible that there should be a best horse on a race
course? Because there is always a bettor.

When may a ship be said to be in love? When she wishes for a mate.

What is that which has never been felt, seen, or heard,--never
existed, and still has a name? Nothing.

Why is a congreve-box without matches superior to all other boxes?
Because it is matchless.

Why is a postman in danger of losing his way? Because he is guided by
the directions of strangers.

What is that which comes with a coach, goes with a coach, is of no
use to the coach, and yet the coach cannot go without it? Noise.

Why is a missionary like a pig roasting on a spit? Because he goes
around doing good.

Why are hogs more intelligent than humans? Because they nose (knows)
everything.

What makes a pet dog wag his tail when he sees his master? Because
he's got one to wag.

What other edifice does a man sometimes carry about with him besides
a sty in his eye? A castle in the (h)air.

When is a fast young man nearest heaven? When on a lark.

When is a cigar like a shoulder of pork? When it's smoked.

When is a man most likely to get floored (flawed)? When he's up late
(a plate), and so runs a chance of becoming cracked.

What are the features of the cannon? Cannon-mouth, canon-ize, and
cannon-eers.

Who always sits with his hat on before the queen? Her coachman.

Why is a pig in the drawing-room like a house on fire? Because the
sooner it is put out the better.

When is a river not a river? When it is eye water (high water).

What trade never turns to the left? A wheelwright.

What trade is more than full? Fuller.

Why is electricity like the police when they are wanted? Because it
is an invisible force.

When is a borough like a ship? When it is under canvass.

Why are guns like trees? People plant them and they shoot.

How does a boy look if you hurt him? It makes him yell O! (yellow).

What part of your ear would be the most essential for a martial band?
The drum.

What is it that stands aloft, and regulates our daily movements, yet
feels no interest in our concerns; directs us when to g