calves there.

Why does a cat rest better in summer? Because summer brings a
cat-a-pillow (caterpillar).

What is it that every man overlooks? His nose.

Why should potatoes grow better than any other vegetable? Because
they have eyes to see what they are doing.

What were the last words of the bugler who was gored by the bull?
"Blow the horns!"

Why are lawyers like shears? Because they do not cut each other, but
only what comes between them.

What have feet and walk not? Stoves.

What have eyes and see not? Potatoes.

What have noses but smell not? Teapots.

What have hands but work not? Clocks.

What have mouths but eat not? Rivers.

What have ears but hear not? Cornstalks.

What have tongues but talk not? Wagons.

Why do we all go to bed? Because the bed will not come to us.

What is higher and handsomer when the head is off? A pillow.

What is the best thing to make in a hurry? Haste.

Why do dentists make good politicians? Because they have a great
pull.

If a tailor and a goose are on the top of a monument, what is the
quickest way for the tailor to get down? Pluck the goose.

If I walk into a room full of people and place a new penny upon the
table in full view of the company, what does the coin do? It looks
round.

Why is a mouse like hay? Because the cat'll eat it (cattle).

Why is a madman equal to two men? Because he is one beside himself.

Which member of Congress wears the largest hat? The one who has the
largest head.

When does a pig become landed property? When he is turned into a
meadow.

What is the difference between a cow and a rickety chair? One gives
milk and the other gives whey (way).

What flower most resembles a bull's mouth? The cowslip.

When is a lady deformed? When mending stockings; because she then has
her hands where her feet ought to be.

Why is the proprietor of a balloon like a phantom? Because he's an
airy-nought (aeronaut).

Why do little birds in their nests agree? For fear of falling out.

Why is the flight of an eagle a most unpleasant sight to witness?
Because it's an eye-sore ('igh soar).

What impermeable fabric is a sparrow like? Gutter percher (gutta
percha).

Which of the feathered tribe can lift the heaviest weights? The
crane.

Why does the rope dancer invariably have to repeat his performances?
Because they are always on cord (encored).

What is the difference between a widow and a window? Little if N-y;
for the trans-parents