seashore lodging-house keepers with newly
married couples? Because they are accustomed to sea-side dears (seize
ideas), and to make the most out of them that is possible.

What is Majesty deprived of its externals? A jest (M-ajest-y).

Why is a cracker like death? Because it is a debt o' natur'
(detonator).

What is the greatest instance of cannibalism on record? When a rash
man ate a rasher.

What tree bears the most fruit to market? The axle-tree.

How is it that trees can put on new dresses without "opening their
trunks"? Because they leave out their summer clothing.

What is the difference between a potato and a soldier? One shoots
from the eye, the other from the shoulder.

What is the difference between a beehive and a diseased potato? None
at all; one is a bee-holder (beholder), the other a speck'd tatur
(spectator).

What is the difference between a piece of honeycomb and a black eye?
One is produced by a laboring bee, the other by a belaboring.

Why are country girls' cheeks like well-printed cottons? Because they
are warranted to wash--and keep color.

Why are volunteers like old maids? Because they are always ready, but
never wanted.

Why would young ladies make good volunteers? Because they are
accustomed to bare arms.

What is the difference between love and war? One breaks hearts, the
other heads.

What is the difference between a volunteer and an omelet? The
difference is that one is equipped to go forth, the other is egg
whipped to go froth.

Why is a black man necessarily a conjurer? Because he is a
negro-man-sir (necromancer).

What is that which every one frequently holds yet rarely touches? His
tongue.

What is a good way to make money fast? Put it in a safety deposit
box.

Why is one who uses hair dye like a suicide? Because he dies by his
own hand.

Why are frames put about tomato plants? To make the tomato ketchup
(catch up).

Why should wire be used to train string beans? So that they may not
be too stringy.

Why is a proposal like the first conviction for drunkenness? Because
it is a short sentence which generally leads to a long one.

What kind of a pen does the plagiarist use? Steel.

If an uncle's sister is not your aunt, what relation does she bear to
you? Your mother.

Of what profession is every child? A player.

Why is Troy weight like an unconscientious person? Because it has no
scruples.

Which is heavier, the half or the full moon? The half, because