n it is put up for a _late_
husband.

Why are women like churches? Because there is no living without one;
because there is many a-spire to them; and because they are objects
of adoration.

Why is your thumb, when putting on a glove, like eternity? Because
it's ever-last-in' (everlasting).

Why are kisses like creation? They are made of nothing, yet are very
good.

Why is a ragged beggar like a clergyman near the end of his sermon?
He's tor'd his clothes.

Why is a greenback more desirable than gold? When you put it in your
pocket you double it and when you take it out you find it in creases.

Why is it dangerous to walk out in the spring? The grass is full of
blades, the trees are shooting, every flower has a pistil, and the
bull rushes out.

What is that which, although only four inches long and three inches
wide, contains a solid foot? A shoe.

What is the difference between a physician and a magician? One is a
cupper, the other a sorcerer.

What becomes of all the pins? They fall to the earth, and become
terra-pins.

Why is a belle like a locomotive? She transports the mails.

Why is a Freshman like a telescope? He is easily drawn out, seen
through, and shut up.

Why is a flea like a long winter? It makes a backward spring.

What is the smallest room in the world? The mush-room.

What is the largest room in the world? Room for improvement.

What is that which is above all human imperfections, and yet shelters
the weakest and most depraved, as well as the best of men? A hat.

Why does a man permit himself to be henpecked? Because he's
chicken-hearted.

Why would a compliment from a chicken be an insult? Because it would
be in fowl language.

Why is an aristocratic seminary for young ladies like a flower
garden? Because it's a place of haughty culture (horticulture).

Why are deaf people like India shawls? Because you can't make them
here (hear).

What is that which belongs to yourself, yet is used by every one more
than yourself? Your name.

What tongue is that which frequently hurts and grieves you, and yet
does not speak a word? The tongue of your shoe.

When may a man be said to be personally involved? When he is wrapped
up in himself.

What is most like a horse's foot? A mare's.

Why is a horse an anomaly in the hunting-field? Because the better
tempered he is the easier he takes a fence (offense).

What is a dogma? An opinion laid down with a snarl.

Why is a turnpike like a