In the whispers of conscience its voice will be found,
Nor e'en in the whirlwind of passion be drowned.
In the heaps of the miser 'tis hoarded with care,
But is sure to be lost by his prodigal heir.
'Twill not soften the heart, and though deaf to the ear,
'Twill make it acutely and instantly hear.
Without it the soldier and sailor may roam,
But woe to the wretch who expels it from home!
So in shade let it rest, like a delicate flower:
Oh, breathe on it softly, it dies in an hour!
The letter "H."

STORIES

How do you punctuate the sentence, "I saw a five-dollar bill on the
street?" Make a dash after it.

There was a carpenter who made a cupboard door; it proved too big. He
cut it, and unfortunately, he cut it too little; he thereupon cut it
again, and made it fit beautifully. How was this? He did not cut it
enough the first time.

There are twelve birds in a covey. A hunter kills a brace, then how
many remain? None, for, unless they are idiots, they fly away.

A one-eyed beggar bet a friend that he could see more with one eye
than his friend could with two. How was this? Because he saw his
friend's two eyes, whilst the other only saw his one.

A hunter and his dog went out hunting. The dog went not behind, went
not before, nor on one side of him. Where did he go? On the other
side.

Which would you rather--look a greater fool than you are, or be a
greater fool than you look? (Let the person choose, then say, "That
is impossible.")

Which would you rather--that a lion ate you or a tiger? Why, you
would rather that the lion ate the tiger, of course.

A man stopped before the window of a trunk store; within, a large
trunk was marked "$25.00," a medium-sized one "$15.00," and a small
one bore the placard, "This size for $5.00." "So do I," the man said,
and walked on.

A man was crossing a bridge over a small stream, and noticed a sign
which read, "Don't fish here." "Do they?" he asked, and walked on.

AGE CONTEST

What age will people reach if they live long enough? Dotage.

To what age do most people look forward? Marriage.

A necessary attribute of a soldier? Courage.

What age is required at sea? Tonnage.

What age are we forbidden to worship? Image.

What age do people get stuck on? Mucilage.

What age is neither more nor less? Average.

What is the age of profanity? Damage.

At what age will vessels ride safely? Anchorage.