as they were going to fight _on the same side_.

CATCHING A TARTAR.

AN Irish soldier called out to his companion:

"Hollo! Pat, I have taken a prisoner."

"Bring him along, then; bring him along!"

"He won't come."

"Then come yourself."

"_He won't let me._"

ANTIGALLICAN.

A DOWNRIGHT John Bull going into a coffee-house, briskly ordered a glass
of brandy and water; "But," said he, "bring me none of your cursed
_French stuff_." The waiter said respectfully, "_Genuine British_, Sir,
I assure you."

IMPRACTICABILITY.

A GENTLEMAN in the pit, at the representation of a certain tragedy,
observed to his neighbor, he wondered that it was not hissed: the other
answered, "People can't both yawn and hiss at once."

A DIALOGUE.

THE late Caleb Whitfoord, finding his nephew, Charles Smith, playing the
violin, the following hits took place:

_W._ I fear, Charles, you _lose_ a great deal of _time_ with this
fiddling.

_S._ Sir, I endeavor to _keep time_.

_W._ You mean rather to _kill time_.

_S._ No, I only _beat time_.

AN UNLUCKY COMPLIMENT.

A FRENCH gentleman congratulated Madame Denis on her performance of the
part of Lara. "To do justice to that part," said she, "the actress
should be young and handsome." "Ah, madam!" replied the complimenter,
"you are a complete proof of the contrary."

A COMMAND ANTICIPATED.

IN the campaign in Holland last war, a party marching through a swamp,
was ordered to form _two deep_. A corporal immediately exclaimed, "I'm
_too deep_ already; I am up to the middle."

A SMALL MISTAKE.

AN uninformed Irishman, hearing the _Sphinx_ alluded to in company,
whispered to his neighbor, "Sphinx! who is that?" "A monster, man."
"Oh!" said our Hibernian, not to seem unacquainted with his family, "_a
Munster-man_! I thought he was from Connaught."

A HOME TRUTH.

WHEN the late Duchess of Kingston wished to be received at the Court of
Berlin, she got the Russian minister there to mention her intention to
his Prussian Majesty, and to tell him at the same time, "That her
fortune was at Rome, her bank at Venice, but that her heart was at
Berlin." The king replied, "I am sorry we are only intrusted with the
worst part of her Grace's property."

SHINING WIT.

A BUCK having his boots cleaned, threw down the money haughtily to the
Irish shoe-black, who as he was going away said, "By my soul, all the
_polish