e small coin, but in place of
taking the money which Mr. ----held in his hands, he busied himself
putting up the steps of the vehicle, and then, going to the well at the
back of the car, took thence a piece of carpeting, from which he shook
ostentatiously the dust, and straightway covered his horse's head with
it. After doing so he took the "fare" from the passenger, who, surprised
at the deliberation with which the jarvey had gone through the whole of
these proceedings, inquired, "Why did you cover the horse's head?" To
which the jarvey, with a humorous twinkle of his eye, and to the
infinite amusement of approving bystanders, replied, "Why did I cover
the horse's head? Is that what you want to know? Well, because I didn't
want to let the dacent baste see that he carried so big a load so far
for sixpence?" It should be added, in justice to the worthy citizen,
that a half crown immediately rewarded the witty jarvey for his ready
joke.

A CONSEQUENCE.

A GENTLEMAN complained that his apothecary had so stuffed him with
drugs, that he was _sick_ for a fortnight after he was _quite well_.

A SEA CHAPLAIN.

THE captain of a man of war lost his chaplain. The first lieutenant, a
Scotchman, announced his death to his lordship, adding he was sorry to
inform him that the chaplain died a Roman Catholic. "Well, so much the
better," said his lordship. "Oot awa, my lord, how can you say so of a
_British clergyman_?" "_Why, because I believe I am the first captain
that ever could boast of a chaplain who had any religion at all._"

THE MODEST BARRISTER.

A COUNSEL, examining a very young lady, who was a witness in a case of
assault, asked her, if the person who was assaulted did not give the
defendant very ill language, and utter words so bad that he, the learned
counsel, had not _impudence_ enough to repeat? She replied in the
affirmative. "Will you, Madam, be kind enough," said he, "to tell the
Court what these words were?" "Why, Sir," replied she, "if _you_ have
not _impudence_ enough to speak them, how can you suppose that _I_
have?"

A DISTINCTION.

A LADY came up one day to the keeper of the light-house near Plymouth,
which is a great curiosity. "I want to see the light-house," said the
lady. "It cannot be complied with," was the reply. "Do you know who I
am, Sir?" "No, Madam." "I am the Captain's _lady_." "_If you were his
wife, Madam, you could not see it without his order!_"

C