piece for sitch a
reg'lar 'snob' as he was made to appear in the portrait."

The defendant was hereupon required to state why he refused to abide by
the agreement.

"Vy, my lords and gemmen," said Coaly, "my reasons is this here. That
'ere covey comes into the crib vhere I vos a sitting blowing a cloud
behind a drop of heavy, and axes me if as how I'd have my picter draw'd.
Vell, my lords, being a little 'lumpy,' and thinking sitch a consarn
vould please my Sall, I told him as I'd stand a 'bob,' and be my pot to
his'n, perwising as he'd shove me on a pair of prime welwet breeches wot
I'd got at home to vear a Sundays. He said he vould, and 'at it should
be a 'nout-a-nout' job for he'd larnt to draw _phisogomony_ under _Sir
Peter Laurie_."

"It's false!" said the complainant, "the brother artist I named was Sir
Thomas Lawrence."

"Vere's the difference?" asked the coalheaver. "So, my lords, this here
persecutor goes to vork like a Briton, and claps this here thingamy in
my fist, vich ain't not a bit like me, but a blessed deal more likerer a
_bull with a belly-ache_." (_Laughter._)

The defendant pulled out a card and handed it to the bench. On
inspection it was certainly a monstrous production, but it did present
an ugly likeness of the coalheaver. The commissioners were unanimously
of opinion it was a good fifteen-penny copy of the defendant's
countenance.

"'Taint a bit like me?" said the defendant, angrily. "Vy, lookee here,
he's draw'd me vith a _bunch of ingans_ a sticking out of my pocket.
I'm werry fond of sitch wegetables, but I never carries none in my
pockets."

"A bunch of onions!" replied the incensed artist--"I'll submit it to any
gentleman who is a _real_ judge of the 'fine arts,' whether that
(_pointing to the appendage_) can be taken for any thing else than the
gentleman's _watch-seals_."

"Ha! ha! ha!" roared the coalheaver; "my votch-seals! Come, that's a
good 'un--I never vore no votch-seals, 'cause I never had none--so the
pictur can't be _like_ me."

The commissioners admitted the premises, but denied the conclusion; and
being of opinion that the artist had made out his claim, awarded the sum
sought, and costs.

The defendant laid down six shillings one by one with the air of a man
undergoing the operation of having so many teeth extracted, and taking
up his picture, consoled himself by saying, that "pr'aps his foreman,
Bill Jones, vould buy it, as he had the luck of vearing a votch o