vill be hingered, and I'm blowed if you shan't get a "little
vun in" ven I comes out of _quod_.

_Mr. Dyer:_ What is the worth of the dog?

_Mr. Davis:_ It is worth five pounds, as it is of a valuable breed.

_Prisoner:_ There, your vership, you hear it's a waluable dog--now is it
feasible as I should go for to prig a dog wot was a waluable hanimal?

The magistrate appeared to think such an occurrence not at all unlikely,
as he committed him to prison for three months.

A SCOTCHMAN'S CONSOLATION.

A SCOTCHMAN who put up at an inn, was asked in the morning how he slept.
"Troth, man," replied Donald, "no very weel either, but I was muckle
better aff than the bugs, for deil a ane o' them closed an e'e the hale
nicht."

THE COALHEAVER AND THE FINE ARTS.

A SMALL-MADE MAN, with a carefully cultivated pair of carroty-colored
mustaches, whose style of seedy toggery presented a tolerably good
imitation of a "Polish militaire," came before the commissioners to
establish his legal right to fifteen pence, the price charged for a
whole-length likeness of one _Mister_ Robert White, a member of the
"black and thirsty" fraternity of coalheavers.

The complainant called himself Signor Johannes Benesontagi, but from all
the genuine characteristics of Cockayne which he carried about him, it
was quite evident he had Germanized his patronymic of John Benson to
suit the present judicious taste of the "pensive public."

Signor Benesontagi, a peripatetic professor of the "fine arts," it
appeared was accustomed to visit public-houses for the purpose of
caricaturing the countenances of the company, at prices varying from
five to fifteen pence. In pursuit of his vocation he stepped into the
"Vulcan's Head," where a conclave of coalheavers were accustomed nightly
to assemble, with the double view of discussing politics and pots of
Barclay's entire. He announced the nature of his profession, and having
solicited patronage, he was beckoned into the box where the defendant
was sitting, and was offered a shilling for a _full-length_ likeness.
This sum the defendant consented to enlarge to fifteen pence, provided
the artist would agree to draw him in "full fig:"--red velvet
smalls--nankeen gaiters--sky-blue waistcoat--canary wipe--and
full-bottomed fantail. The bargain was struck and the picture finished,
but when presented to the sitter, he swore "he'd see the man's back
_open and shet_ afore he'd pay the wally of a farden