the Members
how much they would Enjoy going to Weber and Fields'. Seeing a Book on
the Table, he sauntered up to It and said, "Ah, one of Dick Davis'
Things." Later in the Evening he visited the only Club House in Town.
The Local Editor of the Evening Paper was playing Pin-Pool with the
Superintendent of the Trolley Line. When the New York Man came into the
Room, they began to Tremble and fell down on their Shots.

[Illustration: NEW YORK MAN]

The Manager of the Hub and Spoke Factory then asked the New York Man to
have a Drink. The New York Man wondered if a Small Bottle was already
cold. They said Yes, but it was a Lie. The Boy had to go out for it.

He found One that had been in the Window of the Turf Exchange since the
Grand Opening, the Year after Natural Gas was discovered. The New York
Man drank it, remarking that it was hardly as Dry as he usually got it
at Martin's.

The Club Members looked at Him and said Nothing. They thought he meant
Bradley-Martin's.

Next Day the New York Man was Interviewed by the Local Editor. He said
the West had a Great Future. In the Evening he attended the Annual
Dinner of the Bicycle Club, and went Home early because the Man sitting
next to him put Ice in his Claret.

[Illustration: SNAKE CHARMER]

In due time he returned to New York, and Fostoria took off its White
Shirt.

Some Weeks after that, the Cousin of the New York Man had an Opportunity
to visit the Metropolis. He rode on an Extra Ticket with a Stockman who
was shipping three Car-Load of Horses, and got a Free Ticket for every
Car-Load.

When the Cousin arrived at New York he went to the address, and found
the New York Man at Dinner.

There was a Sheaf of Celery on the Table.

Opposite the New York Man sat a Chiropodist who drank.

At his right was a Large Woman in a Flowered Wrapper--she had been
Weeping.

At his left was a Snake-Charmer from Huber's Museum.

The New York Man asked the Cousin to wait Outside, and then explained
that he was stopping there Temporarily. That Evening they went to
Proctor's, and stood during the Performance.

MORAL: _A New York Man never begins to Cut Ice until he is west of
Rahway_.

_THE_ FABLE _OF THE_ KID _WHO_ SHIFTED _HIS_ IDEAL

An A.D.T. Kid carrying a Death Message marked "Rush" stopped in front of
a Show Window containing a Picture of James J. Jeffries and began to
weep bitterly.

A kind-hearted Suburbanite happened to be passing along on his Way to