artridges.

The first Thing they saw when they alighted from the Train was a Brass
Band. It began to play, "See the Conquering Hero Comes."

Then eight Little Girls in White began to strew Flowers in their
Pathway.

The Artillery company ripped out a Salute.

Cap Gibbs, who won his Title by owning the first Steam Thrashing Machine
ever seen in the County, confronted them with a Red, White, and Blue
Sash around him. He Barked in a loud Voice--it was something about Old
Glory.

Afterward the Daughters of the Revolution took them in Tow, and escorted
them to Pythian Hall, where they were given Fried Chicken, Veal Loaf,
Deviled Eggs, Crullers, Preserved Watermelon, Cottage Cheese, Sweet
Pickles, Grape Jelly, Soda Biscuit, Stuffed Mangoes, Lemonade,
Hickory-Nut Cake, Cookies, Cinnamon Roll, Lemon Pie, Ham, Macaroons, New
York Ice Cream, Apple Butter, Charlotte Russe, Peppermint Wafers, and
Coffee.

While they were Feeding, the Sons of Veterans Quartet stood on the
Rostrum with their Heads together, and sang:

"Ten-ting to-night! Ten-ting to-night,
Ten-ting on the old-ah Camp-ground!"

At the first opportunity Bill motioned to Schuyler, and led him into the
Anteroom, where they kept the Regalia, the Kindling Wood, and the Mop.

"Say, Schuy, what the Sam Hill does this mean?" he asked; "are we
Heroes?"

"That's what Everybody says."

"Do you Believe it?"

"No matter what I Believe; I'm goin' to let 'em have their own Way. I
may want to Run for Supervisor some Day."

MORAL: _If it is your Play to be a Hero, don't Renig._

_THE_ FABLE _OF THE_ PARENTS _WHO_ TINKERED _WITH THE_ OFFSPRING

A married Couple possessed two Boys named Joseph and Clarence. Joseph
was much the older. His Parents brought him up on a Plan of their Own.
They would not permit him to play with other Boys for fear that he would
soil himself; and learn to be Rude and Boisterous.

So they kept Him in the House, and: his Mother read to him about Little
Rollo, who never lied or cheated, and who grew up to be a Bank
President, She seemed to think that a Bank President was above
Reproach.

Little Joseph was kept away from the Public Schools, and had to Play
Games in the Garret with two Spindly Little Girls. He learned Tatting
and the Herring-Bone Stitch. When he was Ten Years of age he could play
Chop-Sticks on the Piano; his Ears were Translucent, and his Front Teeth
showed like those of a Gray Squirrel.

The other Boys used