inflated Bladders and a Slap-Stick. The Name of the Team was Zoroaster
and Zendavesta.

These two Troupers began their Professional Career with a Road Circus,
working on Canvas in the Morning, and then doing a Refined Knockabout in
the Grand Concert or Afterpiece taking place in the Main Arena
immediately after the big Show is over.

When each of them could Kick Himself in the Eye and Slattery had pickled
his Face so that Stebbins could walk on it, they decided that they were
too good to show under a Round Top, so they became Artists. They wanted
a Swell Name for the Team, so the Side-Show Announcer, who was something
of a Kidder and had attended a Unitarian College, gave them Zoroaster
and Zendavesta. They were Stuck on it, and had a Job Printer do some
Cards for them.

By utilizing two of Pat Rooney's Songs and stealing a few Gags, they put
together Seventeen Minutes and began to play Dates and Combinations.

Zoroaster bought a Cane with a Silver Dog's Head on it, and Zendavesta
had a Watch Charm that pulled the Buttonholes out of his Vest.

[Illustration: ZOROASTER]

After every Show, as soon as they Washed Up, they went and stood in
front of the Theater, so as to give the Hired Girls a Treat, or else
they stood around in the Sawdust and told their Fellow-Workers in the
Realm of Dramatic Art how they killed 'em in Decatur and had 'em
hollerin' in Lowell, Mass., and got every Hand in the House at St. Paul.
Occasionally they would put a Card in the Clipper, saying that they were
the Best in the Business, Bar None, and Good Dressers on and off the
Stage. Regards to Leonzo Brothers. Charley Diamond please write.

They didn't have to study no New Gags or work up no more Business,
becuz they had the Best Act on Earth to begin with. Lillian Russell was
jealous of them and they used to know Francis Wilson when he done a Song
and Dance.

They had a Scrap Book with a Clipping from a Paducah Paper, which said
that they were better than Nat Goodwin. When some Critic who had been
bought up by Rival Artists wrote that Zoroaster and Zendavesta ought to
be on an Ice Wagon instead of on the Stage, they would get out the Scrap
Book and read that Paducah Notice and be thankful that all Critics
wasn't Cheap Knockers and that there was one Paper Guy in the United
States that reckanized a Neat Turn when he seen it.

But Zoroaster and Zendavesta didn't know that the Dramatic Editor of
the Paducah Paper went to a Burgoo Picnic th