the Dog-Catcher; but when 235 pounds of Sunshine came
wafting up the Street, they felt that they were up against a New Game.

The Benevolent Lady would go into a House numbered 1135A with a Marking
Brush, and after she had sized up the front room through the Lorgnette,
she would say: "My Good Woman, does your Husband drink?"

"Oh, yes, sir," the grateful Woman would reply. "That is, when he's
working. He gets a Dollar Ten."

"And what does he do with all his Money?" the Benevolent Lady would
ask.

"I think he plays the Stock Market," would be the Reply.

Then the Benevolent Lady would say: "When the Unfortunate Man comes Home
this Evening you tell him that a Kind and Beautiful Lady called and
asked him please to stop Drinking, except a Glass of Claret at Dinner,
and to be sure and read Eight or Ten Pages from the _Encyclopaedia
Britannica_ each Night before retiring; also tell him to be sure and
save his Money. Is that your Child under the Bed?"

"That's little William J."

"How Many have you?"

"Eight or Nine--I forget Which."

"Be sure and dress them in Sanitary Underwear; you can get it for Four
Dollars a Suit. Will you be good enough to have the Little Boy come from
under the Bed, and spell 'Ibex' for the Sweet Lady?"

"He's afraid of you."

"Kindly explain to him that I take an Interest in him, even though he is
the Offspring of an Obscure and Ignorant Workingman, while I am probably
the Grandest Thing that ever Swept up the Boulevard. I must go now, but
I will Return. Next time I come I hope to hear that your Husband has
stopped Drinking and is very Happy. Tell the Small Person under the Bed
that if he learns to spell 'Ibex' by the time I call again I will let
him look at my Rings. As for you, bear in mind that it is no Disgrace to
be Poor; it is simply Inconvenient; that's all."

Having delivered herself of these Helpful Remarks she would Duck, and
the Uplifted Mother would put a Nickel in the Can and send Lizzie over
to the Dutchman's.

In this manner the Benevolent Lady carried forward the Good Work, and
Dazzled the whole Region between O'Hara's Box Factory and the City Dump.
It didn't Cost anything, and she derived much Joy from the Knowledge
that Hundreds of People were Rubbering at her, and remarking in Choked
Whispers: "Say, ain't she the Smooth Article?"

But one day a Scrappy Kid, whose Mother didn't have any Lorgnette or
Diamond Ear-Bobs, spotted the Benevolent Lady. The Benevolent Lady