g again. "That Superheated
Atmosphere may have a certain Tonic Effect on the Hydrocephalous Voter,
but if you want to adjust yourself with Wifey, you come down to Cases."

So he went out after Breakfast and bought a $22 Hat in order to Square
himself.

MORAL: _Some Women should be given the Right to Vote._

_THE_ FABLE _OF THE_ BRASH DRUMMER _AND THE_ PEACH _WHO_ LEARNED _THAT_
THERE WERE OTHERS

A well-fixed Mortgage Shark, residing at a Way Station, had a Daughter
whose Experience was not as large as her prospective Bank Roll. She had
all the component Parts of a Peach, but she didn't know how to make a
Showing, and there was nobody in Town qualified to give her a quiet
Hunch.

She got her Fashion Hints from a Trade Catalogue, and took her Tips on
Etiquette and Behavior from the Questions and Answers Department of an
Agricultural Monthly.

The Girl and her Father lived in a big White House, with Evergreen Trees
and whitewashed Dornicks in front of it, and a Wind-Pump at the rear.
Father was a good deal the same kind of a Man as David Harum, except
that he didn't let go of any Christmas Presents, or work the Soft Pedal
when he had a chance to apply a Crimp to some Widow who had seen Better
Days. In fact, Daughter was the only one on Earth who could induce him
to Loosen Up.

Now, it happened that there came to this Town every Thirty Days a brash
Drummer, who represented a Tobacco House. He was a Gabby Young Man, and
he could Articulate at all Times, whether he had anything to Say or
not.

[Illustration: DAUGHTER]

One night, at a Lawn Fete given by the Ladies of the Methodist
Congregation, he met Daughter. She noticed that his Trousers did not bag
at the Knees; also that he wore a superb Ring. They strolled under the
Maples, and he talked what is technically known as Hot Air. He made an
Impression considerably deeper than himself. She promised to Correspond.

On the occasion of his next Visit to the Way Station, he let her wear
his Ring, and made a Wish, while she took him riding in the Phaeton. He
began to carry her Photograph in his Watch, and show it to the Boys
employed at the House. Sometimes he would fold over one of her Letters
so they could see how it started out. He said the Old Man had Nothing
But, and he proposed to make it a case of Marry. Truly, it seemed that
he was the principal Cake in the Pantry, and little did he suspect that
he could be Frosted.

[Illustration: IN THE EAST]

B