is
$25 per, I mean that Mrs. Botts will be required to pay that Amount to
Adolph every week."

"Shameful!"

"Don't be too hasty. I further Decree that Mr. Botts must pay the same
Amount to Flora every Week."

"That simply makes it a Stand-Off," remarked Mr. Botts, who was puzzled.

"My idea of the Case, neatly expressed," said the Modern Solomon. "Each
of you is Divorced from the Other, and if Either of you ever Marries
again, He or She will be jerked before this Tribunal and sentenced to
Ten Years of Hard Labor in some Penal Institution."

Whereupon the Court took a Noon Recess of 3-1/2 hours.

Moral: _Genius must ever walk Alone._

_THE_ FABLE _OF THE_ COPPER _AND THE_ JOVIAL UNDERGRADS

One Night three Well-Bred Young Men, who were entertained at the Best
Houses wherever they went, started out to Wreck a College town.

They licked two Hackmen, set fire to an Awning, pulled down many Signs,
and sent a Brick through the Front Window of a Tailor Shop. All the
Residents of the Town went into their Houses and locked the Doors;
Terror brooded over the Community.

A Copper heard the Racket, and saw Women and Children fleeing to Places
of Safety, so he gripped his Club and ran Ponderously, overtaking the
three Well-Bred Young Men in a dark part of the Street, where they were
Engaged in tearing down a Fence.

He could not see them Distinctly, and he made the Mistake of assuming
that they were Drunken Ruffians from the Iron Foundry. So he spoke
harshly, and told them to Leave Off breaking the Man's Fence. His Tone
and Manner irritated the University Men, who were not accustomed to
Rudeness from Menials.

One Student, who wore a Sweater, and whose people butt into the Society
Column with Sickening Regularity, started to Tackle Low; he had Bushy
Hair and a Thick Neck, and his strong Specialty was to swing on
Policemen and Cabbies.

[Illustration: STUDENT]

At this, his Companion, whose Great Grandmother had been one of the
eight thousand Close Relatives of John Randolph, asked him not to Kill
the Policeman. He said the Fellow had made a Mistake, that was all; they
were not Muckers; they were Nice Boys, intent on preserving the
Traditions of dear old _Alma Mater_.

The Copper could hardly Believe it until they led him to a Street Lamp,
and showed him their Engraved Cards and Junior Society Badges; then he
Realized that they were All Right. The third Well-Bred Young Man, whose
Male Parent got his Coin b