s.
Ma said something about heavens and earth, and where is the huzzy, and
a lot of things I couldn't hear, and Pa said damfino and its no such
thing, and the door slammed and they talked for two hours. I s'pose
they finally layed it to me, as they always do, 'cause Pa called me very
early this morning, and when I came down stairs he came out in the hall
and his face was redder'n a beet, and he tried to stab me with his big
toe-nail, and if it hadn't been for these pieces of brick he would have
hurt my feelings. I see they had my chum's sister's clothes all pinned
up in a newspaper, and I s'pose when I go back I shall have to carry
them home, and then she will be down on me. I'll tell you what, I have
got a good notion to take some shoemaker's wax and stick my chum on
my back and travel with a circus as a double headed boy from Borneo. A
fellow could have more fun, and not get kicked all the time."

And the boy sampled some strawberries in a case in front of the store
and went down the street whistling for his chum, who was looking out of
an alley to see if the coast was clear.

CHAPTER VI.

HIS PA IS A DARN COWARD--HIS PA HAS BEEN A MAJOR---HOW HE
WOULD DEAL WITH BURGLARS--HIS BRAVERY PUT TO THE TEST--THE
ICE REVOLVER--HIS PA BEGINS TO PRAY--TELLS WHERE THE CHANGE
IS--"PLEASE MR. BURGLAR SPARE A POOR MAN'S LIFE!"--MA WAKES
UP--THE BAD BOY AND HIS CHUM RUN--FISH-POLE SAUCE--MA WOULD
MAKE A GOOD CHIEF OF POLICE.

"I suppose you think my Pa is a brave man," said the bad boy to the
grocer, as he was trying a new can opener on a tin biscuit box in the
grocery, while the grocer was putting up some canned goods for the boy,
who said the goods where (sp.) for the folks to use at a picnic, but
which was to be taken out camping by the boy and his chum.

"O I suppose he is a brave man," said the grocer, as he charged the
goods to the boy's father. "Your Pa is called a major, and you know at
the time of the reunion he wore a veteran badge, and talked to the boys
about how they suffered during the war."

"Suffered nothing," remarked the boy with a sneer, "unless they suffered
from the peach brandy and leather pies Pa sold them. Pa was a sutler,
that's the kind of a veteran he was, and he is a coward."

"What makes you think your Pa is a coward?" asked the grocer, as he saw
the boy slipping some sweet crackers into his pistol pocket.

"Well, my chum and me tried him last night, and he is s