eak up the lodge, cause a woman couldn't keep a
secret, and we didn't have any side saddle for the goat. Say, if you
never tried it, the next time you nitiate a man in your Mason's lodge
you sprinkle a little kyan pepper on the goat's beard just afore you
turn him loose. You can get three times as much fun to the square inch
of goat. You wouldn't think it was the same goat. Well, we got all fixed
and Pa rapped, and we let him in and told him he must be blindfolded,
and he got on his knees a laffing and I tied a towel around his eyes,
and then I turned him around and made him get down on his hands also,
and then his back was right towards the closet door, and I put the buck
beer sign right against Pa's clothes. He was a laffing all the time, and
said we boys were as full of fun as they made 'em, and we told him
it was a solemn occasion, and we wouldn't permit no levity, and if he
didn't stop laffing we couldn't give him the grand bumper degree."

[Illustration: Then everything was ready p093]

"Then everything was ready, and my chum had his hand on the closet door,
and some kyan pepper in his other hand, and I asked Pa in low bass tones
if he felt as though he wanted to turn back, or if he had nerve enough
to go ahead and take the degree. I warned him that it was full of
dangers, as the goat was loaded for bear, and told him he yet had
time to retrace his steps if he wanted to. He said he wanted the whole
bizness, and we could go ahead with the menagerie. Then I said to
Pa that if he had decided to go ahead, and not blame us for the
consequences, to repeat after me the following: 'Bring forth the Royal
Bumper and let him Bump.' Pa repeated the words, and my chum sprinkled
the kyan pepper on the goat's moustache, and he sneezed once and looked
sassy, and then he see the lager beer goat raring up, and he started for
it, just like a cow catcher, and blatted. Pa is real fat, but he knew he
got hit, and he grunted, and said, 'Hell's-fire, what you boys doin?'"

[Illustration: Hell's-fire, what you boys doin p094]

"And then the goat gave him another degree, and Pa pulled off the towel
and got up and started for the stairs, and so did the goat, and Ma
was at the bottom of the stairs listening, and when I looked over the
banisters Pa and Ma and the goat were all in a heap, and Pa was yelling
murder, and Ma was screaming fire, and the goat was blatting, and
sneezing, and bunting, and the hired girl came into the hall and the