rocking chair, and say, 'scat,' and I heard Pa say,
'well, I'm dam'd,' and a girl that sings in the choir say, 'Heavens, I
am stabbed,' then my chum and me ran to the front of the house and come
down the front stairs looking as innocent as could be, and we went in
the library, and I was just going to tell Pa if there was any errands he
wanted run my chum and me was just aching to run them, when a yellow cat
without any tail was walking over the minister, and Pa was throwing a
hassock at two cats that were clawing each other under the piano, and Ma
was trying to get her frizzes back on her head, and the choir girl was
standing on the lounge with her dress pulled up, trying to scare cats
with her striped stockings, and the minister was holding his hands up,
and I guess he was asking a blessing on the cats, and my chum opened the
front door and all the cats went out. Pa and Ma looked at me and I said
it wasn't me, and the minister wanted to know how so much cat hair got
on my coat and vest, and I said a cat met me in the hall and kicked me,
and Ma cried, and Pa said that boy beats hell, and the minister said I
would be all right if I had been properly brought up, and then Ma was
mad, and the committee broke up. Well, to tell the honest truth Pa
basted me, and yanked me around until I had to have my arm in a sling,
but what's the use of making such a fuss about a few cats. Ma said she
never wanted to have my company again, cause I spoiled everything. But
I got even with Pa for basting me, this morning, and I dassent go home.
You see Ma has got a great big bath sponge as big as a chair cushion,
and this morning I took the sponge and filled it with warm water, and
took the feather cushion out of the chair Pa sits in at the table, and
put the sponge in its place, and covered it over with the cushion cover,
and when we all got set down to the table Pa came in and sat down on
it to ask a blessing. He started in by closing his eyes and placing his
hands up in front of him like a letter V, and then he began to ask that
the food we were about to partake off be blessed, and then he was going
on to ask that 'all of us be made to see the error of our ways, when
he began to hitch around, and he opened one eye and looked at me, and I
looked as pious as a boy can look when he knows the pancakes are getting
cold, and Pa he kind of sighed and said 'Amen' sort of snappish, and he
got up and told Ma he didn't feel well, and she would have to t