I would play a joke
on him. Our room was 210 and the next was 212, and there was a old maid
with a scotch terrier occupied 212. I saw her twice and she called me
names, cause she thought I wanted to steal her dog. That made me mad at
her, and so I took my jack knife and drew the tacks out of the tin thing
that the numbers were painted on, and put the old maid's number on our
door and our number on her door, and then I went to bed. I tried to
keep awake, so as to help Pa if he had any difficulty, but I guess I got
asleep, but woke up when the dog barked. If the dog had not woke me up,
the woman's scream would, and if that hadn't, Pa would. You see, Pa came
home from the theatre about 'leven, and he had been drinking. He says
everybody drinks when they go to Chicago, even the minister. Pa looked
at the numbers on the doors all along the hall till he found 210, and
walked right in and pulled off his coat and threw it on the lounge where
the dog was. The old maid was asleep, but the dog barked, and Pa said,
'That cussed boy has bought a dog.' and he kicked the dog, and then the
old maid said, 'what is the matter pet?'"

[Illustration: In the wrong room p105]

"Pa laffed and said, 'Nothin the mazzer with _me_, pet,' and then you
ought to have heard the yelling. The old maid covered her head and
kicked and yelled, and the dog snarled and bit Pa on the pants, and Pa
had his vest off and his suspenders unbuttoned, and he got scared and
took his coat and vest and went out in the hall, and I opened our door
and told Pa he was in the wrong room, and he said he guessed he knowed
it, and he came in our room and I locked the door, and then the bell
boy, and the porter, and the clerk came up to see what ailed the old
maid, and she said a burglar got in the room, and they found Pa's hat
on the lounge, and they took it and told her to be quiet and they would
find the burglar. Pa was so scared that he sweat like everything, and
the bed was offul warm, and he pretended to go to sleep, but he was
wondering how he could get his hat back. In the morning I told him it
would be hard work to explain it to Ma how he happened to get into the
wrong room, and he said it wasn't necessary to say anything about it to
Ma. Then he gave me five dollars to go out and buy him a new hat, and
he said I might keep the change if I would not mention it when I got
home, and I got him one for ten shillings, and we took the eight o'clock
train in the morning and