"That's what beats me. Aside from Ma's hay fever she is one of the
healthiest women in this town. O, I suppose he does it for his health,
the way they all do when they go to a summer resort, but it leaves a
boy an orphan, don't it, to have such kitteny parents."

CHAPTER IX.

HIS PA HAS GOT 'EM AGAIN! HIS PA IS DRINKING HARD--HE HAS
BECOME A TERROR--A JUMPING DOG--THE OLD MAN IS SHAMEFULLY
ASSAULTED--"THIS IS A HELLISH CLIMATE MY BOY!"--HIS PA
SWEARS OFF--HIS MA STILL SNEEZING AT LAKE SUPERIOR.

'"If the dogs in our neighborhood hold out I guess I can do something
that all the temperance societies in this town have failed to do," says
the bad boy to the grocery man, as he cut off a piece of cheese and took
a handful of crackers out of a box.

"Well for Heaven's sake, what have you been doing now, you little
reprobate," asked the grocery man, as he went to the desk and charged
the boy's father with a pound and four ounces of cheese and two pounds
of crackers. "If you was my boy and played any of your tricks on me I
would maul the everlasting life out of you. Your father is a cussed fool
that he dont send you to the reform school. The hired girl was over this
morning and says your father is sick, and I should think he would be.
What you done? Poisoned him I suppose."

"No, I didn't poison him; I just scared the liver out of him that's
all."

"How was it," asked the groceryman, as he charged up a pound of prunes
to the boy's father.

"Well, I'll tell you, but if you ever tell Pa I wont trade here any
more. You see, Pa belongs to all the secret societies, and when there is
a grand lodge or anything here, he drinks awfully. There was something
last week, some sort of a leather apron affair, or a sash over the
shoulder, and every night he was out till the next day, and his breath
smelled all the time like in front of a vinegar store, where they keep
yeast. Ever since Ma took her hay fever with her up to Lake Superior, Pa
has been a terror, and I thought something ought to be done. Since that
variegated dog trick was played on him he has been pretty sober till Ma
went away, and I happened to think of a dog a boy in the Third Ward has
got, that will do tricks. He will jump up and take a man's hat off, and
bring a handkerchief, and all that. So I got the boy to come up on our
street, and Monday night, about dark, I got in the house and told
the boy when Pa came along to make the dog take his h