goat took after her and she crossed herself just as the goat struck her
and said, 'Howly mother, protect me!' and went down stairs the way we
boys slide down hill, with both hands on herself, and the goat rared up
and blatted, and Pa and Ma went into their room and shut the door, and
then my chum and me opened the front door and drove the goat out. The
minister, who comes to see Ma every three times a week, was just ringing
the bell and the goat thought he wanted to be nishiated too, and gave
him one, for luck, and then went down the sidewalk, blatting, and
sneezing, and the minister came in the parlor and said he was stabbed,
and then Pa came out of his room with his suspenders hanging down, and
he didn't know the minister was there, and he said cuss words, and Ma
cried and told Pa he would go to hell sure, and Pa said he didn't care,
he would kill that kussid goat afore he went, and I told Pa the minister
was in the parlor, and he and Ma went down and said the weather was
propitious for a revival, and it seemed as though an outpouring of the
spirit was about to be vouchsafed to His people, and none of them sot
down but Ma, cause the goat didn't hit her, and while they were talking
relidgin, with their mouths, and kussin the goat inwardly, my chum and
me adjourned the lodge, and I went and stayed with him all night, and I
haven't been home since. But I don't believe Pa will lick me, cause he
said he would not hold us responsible for the consequences. He ordered
the goat hisself, and we filled the order, don't you see? Well, I guess
I will go and sneak in the back way, and find out from the hired girl
how the land lays. She won't go back on me, cause the goat was not
loaded for hired girls. She just happened to get in at the wrong time.
Good bye, sir, Remember and give your goat kyan pepper in your lodge."

As the boy went away, and skipped over the back fence, the grocery man
said to his brother odd fellow,

"If that boy don't beat the devil then I never saw one that did. The old
man ought to have him sent to a lunatic asylum."

CHAPTER XX.

HIS GIRL GOES BACK ON HIM--THE GROCERY MAN IS AFRAID--BUT
THE BAD BOY IS A WRECK!--"MY GIRL, HAS SHOOK ME!"--THE BAD
BOY'S HEART IS BROKEN--STILL HE ENJOYS A BIT OF FUN--COD-
LIVER OIL ON THE PANCAKES--THE HIRED GIRLS MADE VICTIMS--THE
BAD BOY VOWS VENGEANCE ON HIS GIRL AND THE TELEGRAPH
MESSENGER.

"Now you git right away from here," said t