id it would improve our minds and learn us to
be men. So my chum and me borried a goat that lives in a livery stable.
Say, did you know they keep a goat in a livery stable so the horses
won't get sick? They get used to the smell of the goat, and after that
nothing can make them sick but a glue factory. I wish my girl boarded in
a livery stable, then she would get used to the smell. I went home with
her from church Sunday night, and the smell of the goat on my clothes
made her sick to her stummick, and she acted just like an excursion on
the lake, and said if I didn't go and bury myself and take the smell
out of me she wouldn't never go with me again. She was just as pale as a
ghost, and the prespiration on her lip was just zif she had been hit by
a street sprinkler. You see my chum and me had to carry the goat up to
my room when Pa and Ma was out riding, and he blatted so we had to tie
a handkerchief around his nose, and his feet made such a noise on the
floor that we put some baby's socks on his feet. Gosh, how frowy a goat
smells, don't it? I should think you Masons must have strong stummix,
Why don't you have a skunk or a mule for a trade mark. Take a mule,
and annoint it with limburg cheese and you could initiate and make a
candidate smell just as bad as with a gosh darn mildewed goat.

"Well, my chum and me practiced with that goat until he could bunt the
picture of a goat every time. We borried a buck beer sign from a saloon
man and hung it on the back of a chair, and the goat would hit it every
time. That night Pa wanted to know what we were doing up in my room, and
I told him we were playing lodge, and improving our minds, and Pa said
that was right, there was nothing that did boys of our age half so much
good as to imitate men, and store by useful nollidge. Then my chum asked
Pa if he didn't want to come up and take the grand bumper degree, and Pa
laffed and said he didn't care if he did, just to encourage us boys in
innocent pastime, that was so improving to our intellex.

"We had shut the goat up in a closet in my room, and he had got over
blatting, so we took off the handkerchief, and he was eating some of my
paper collars, and skate straps. We went up stairs, and told Pa to come
up pretty soon and give three distinct raps, and when we asked him who
comes there he must say, 'a pilgrim who wants to join your ancient order
and ride the goat.' Ma wanted to come up too, but we told her if she
come in it would br