dent, and after I had given the young feller one of
the cigars we brought with us from New York he got quite friendly and
told me all about it. It seems, Abe, that the visit was a wonderful
success, in particular the first day Mr. Wilson was in England. The
weather was one of the finest days they had in winter over in England
for years already. Only six inches of rain, and the passage across the
English Channel was so smooth for this time of the year that less than
eighty per cent. of the passengers was ill as against the normal
percentage of 99.31416. As Mr. Wilson had requested that no fuss should
be made over his visit, things was kept down as much as possible, so
that, on leaving Calais, the President's boat was escorted by only ten
torpedo-boat destroyers, a couple battle-ships, three cruisers, and
eight-twelfths of a dozen assorted submarines. There was also a simple
and informal escort of about fifty airy-oplanes, the six dirigible
balloons having been cut out of the program in accordance from the
President's wishes. However, Abe, all this simplicity was nothing
compared to the way they acted when the President arrived at Dover.
There the arrangements was what you might expect when the President of a
plain, democratic people visits the country of another plain, democratic
people, Abe. The only people there to meet them was about twenty or
thirty dukes, a few field-marshals, three regiments of soldiers,
including the bands, and somebody which the newspaper reporter says he
at first took for Caruso in the second act of 'Aida' and afterwards
proved to be the mayor of Dover in his official costume.

"The ceremony of welcoming Mr. and Mrs. Wilson to the shores of England
was very short, the whole thing being practically over in two hours and
thirty minutes," Morris continued. "It consisted of either the firing of
a Presidential salute of twenty-one guns or the playing of the American
National Anthem by the massed bands of three regiments, the reporter
says he couldn't tell which, on account he stood behind one of the
drums. Later the President made a short speech, in which he said: 'May I
not say how glad I am to land in Dover,' or something to that effect."

"And after that boat-ride from France he would have said so if it had
been Barren Island, or any other place-just so long as it was free from
earthquakes and didn't roll none," Abe agreed. "Also, Mawruss," he
continued, "some day the President is going to begin a