at once gets up a line of snappy advertisements
headed:

"'WHY BOLSHEVISM?'

to the effect that a Revolution a Day Drives Indemnities Away and for
particulars to write to Trotzky & Lenine, Department M, Petrograd Land
Title and Trust Building, Petrograd. And, of course, Hungary fell for
it."

"So you think that this here Hungarian revolution is a fake?" Abe asked.

"It ain't a fake, it's a business," Morris replied, "which I bet yer
that right now Messrs. Ebert, Scheidemann & Co. is writing Trotzky &
Lenine they should please quote prices on Bolshevist uprisings as per
Hungarian sample, F.O.B. Berlin, and also that it wouldn't be only a
matter of a few days when knocking Germany would be a capital offense in
Petrograd, upon the grounds that the customer is always right."

"But I understand that in Budapest the working-men is seizing the
factories and running them themselves," Abe said.

"There's always bound to be a certain number of people which couldn't
take a job," Morris commented.

"There's no joke about it," Abe declared, "which I see in the paper this
morning that the new Hungarian Soviet government has directed the
presidents of banks to put their business in the hands of the clerks and
that the landlords has got to let the janitors manage the
apartment-houses."

"The landlords has got to do that in America, whether the government
tells 'em to or not, Abe," Morris said, "and as for the bank presidents,
Abe, they might just as well go out and look for another job to-day as
to wait till next week when them committees of factory-workers will
start in to make overdrafts at the point of a revolver."

"Things must be terribly mixed up in Hungary, according to the papers,"
Abe observed.

"Well, I'll tell you," Morris said, "in some countries a Bolshevik
government could be quite disturbing, but take Hungarian cooking, for
instance, and it wouldn't really make a whole lot of difference if
_gulyas_ or paprika chicken was cooked by one chef or a committee of
scullions, Abe, it would be just so miscellaneous and nobody could tell
from eating it what had been put into it, y'understand. Also, Abe, take
these here gipsy Hungarian bands, and while there would probably be a
terrible conglomeration of noises if a committee of players was to start
in to conduct the Boston Symphonies or the New York Philharmonics,
y'understand, a committee of gipsy musicians couldn't make a _czardas_
sound worser than it does, no