titude towards the Freedom of the
Seas, Mawruss?" Abe asked.

"That the newspaper feller didn't know," Morris said.

"Well, who does know?" Abe insisted.

"Lord George," Morris replied.

IV

EVERYTHING IS PROCEEDING SATISFACTORILY--MAYBE

"Yes, Abe," Morris Perlmutter said to his partner, Abe Potash, a few
days after Mr. Wilson's return from his visit to Italy, "up to a short
time ago hardly anybody in America had ever even heard about Italy's
claims to the Dalmatian territory."

"Naturally!" Abe replied; "because if there is six people in the whole
United States which is engaged in the business of selling spotted dogs
to fire-engine houses, Mawruss, that would be big already."

Morris threw up both hands in a gesture of despair. "What is the use
talking foreign politics to a feller which thinks that Italy's claims to
the Dalmatian territory means she wants the exclusive right to make New
York, Cleveland, Chicago, and St. Louis with a line of spotted dogs for
fire-engine companies!" he exclaimed.

"And I wouldn't even have known that it meant that much," Abe retorted,
entirely unabashed, "excepting that six months ago my wife's sister's
cousin wanted me I should advance her a hundred dollars to pay a lawyer
he should bring suit against the city for her on account she got bitten
by one of them fire-house Dalmatians, Mawruss, which up to that time I
always had an idea they was splashed-up white dogs. So go ahead,
Mawruss, I'll be the goat. What is Italy's claims to the Dalmatian
territory?"

"Well, in the first place, Italy thinks she should be awarded all them
towns where a majority of the people which lives in them speaks
Italian," Morris said; "like Fiume, Spalato, Ragusa--"

"Also New Rochelle, Mount Vernon, and The Bronx," Abe added; "and if she
wants to get nasty, Mawruss, she could claim all the territory east of
Third Avenue, from Ninetieth Street up to the Harlem River, too.
Furthermore, Mawruss, there is neighborhoods south of Washington Square
where not only the majority of the people speaks Italian, but the
minority speaks it also. So you see how complicated things becomes when
a new beginner like me starts in to talk foreign politics."

"For that matter, all us Americans is new beginners on foreign politics,
from Mr. Wilson down, Abe," Morris said. "And that is why Mr. Wilson
done a wise thing when he visited Italy the other day, and took a lot of
American newspaper fellers with him, be