hile all the
witnesses is in Paris, it wouldn't be a bad idea to get the March term
of the Paris County grand jury to hand down an indictment for murder
with intent to kill or something."

"That sounds reasonable to anybody not connected with this here Peace
Conference, Abe," Morris admitted, "but it seems that the Committee for
Fixing Responsibility says that if they was to hang or shoot the Kaiser
it would give him an awful drag with the German people, and they don't
want the Kaiser to get popular again, dead or alive. Their idea is to
punish him by letting him live on to be an outcast among all the people
of the earth, except the proprietors of first-class European hotels,
dealers in high-grade automobiles, expensive jewelry storekeepers,
fashionable tailors, and a couple of million other people who don't
attach an awful lot of importance to the moral character of anybody
which wants to enjoy life and has got the money to do it with. In other
words, Abe, they claim that, in leaving the Kaiser to his conscience and
his bank-account they are punishing him a whole lot worse as hanging him
or shooting him."

"And I suppose that same committee is going to sentence von Tirpitz to
six months at Monte Carlo, while Ludendorff will probably be confined to
a Ritz hotel eight hours a day for the rest of his natural life," Abe
suggested.

"The committee claims not," Morris replied. "It seems that the Kaiser's
ministers--like von Tirpitz and Ludendorff--is going to get what is
coming to them, on the grounds that they are guilty of violations of
international law and 'ain't got no relations among the royal families
of England or Italy."

"But why not bring the whole fleet over to America, and let the
authorities dispose of them there?" Abe inquired.

"The Kaiser would be just as much a martyr if he was sentenced in
America as in Europe," Morris replied.

"Who says anything about sentencing him?" Abe demanded. "All it would be
necessary to do would be to swear out a warrant against him and leave
the rest to a couple of headquarters detectives, which, naturally, when
them fellers would tell him to come along with them, the Kaiser would
technically resist the arrest by asking what for. This would mean at the
very least ten stitches in his scalp, Mawruss, not reckoning a couple of
broken ribs or so when the fingerprints was taken, and, while it
wouldn't be only a starter in the way of punishment, he would anyhow
find out that i