nt to England to find out, Abe, because it
ain't going to affect the Peace Conference one way or the other if the
Master of the Royal Fox-hounds don't know a dawg-biscuit from a
gingersnap, y'understand, whereas if this here war is going to be
settled once and for all, Abe, it's quite important that the Right
Honorable English statesmen should have right and honorable intentions."

"And did Mr. Wilson find out?" Abe asked.

"Sure he did," Morris said, "although from what this here newspaper
reporter tells me, Abe, there was a whole lot of lost motion about the
investigation. Take, for instance, the attitude of Mr. Lord George on
the Freedom of the Seas, for instance, and you would think that in the
case of a busy man like Mr. Wilson, y'understand, he would of rung him
up on the telephone, made an appointment for luncheon the next morning,
and by half past one at the outside they would have got the matter in
such shape that the only point not settled between 'em would be a
friendly quarrel as to see who should pay for the eats, y'understand.
Actually, however, the arrangements for having Mr. Wilson get into touch
with Lord George was conducted by the Comptroller of the Royal
Household, and the line of march was down Piccadilly as far as
Forty-second Street, over to Hyde Park, and by way of Hyde Park west to
Eighth Avenue to Mr. Lord George's office in the London & Liverpool
Title Guarantee and Trust Company Building. The order of procession was
as follows:

"Twelve mounted policemen.

"The band of the King's Own Sixty-ninth Regiment.

"Typographical Union No. 6, Allied Printing Trades Council of Great
Britain and Ireland.

"William J. Mustard Association, Drum and Fife Corps.

"Household Guards.

"First carriage--Mr. Wilson and the King.

"Second carriage--Mrs. Wilson and the Queen.

"Third carriage--Mr. George Creel.

"Fourth carriage--Master of the Royal Fox-hounds, Master of the Royal
Buck-hounds, Master of the Royal Stag-hounds, two Masters of Assorted
hounds.

"Six Motor-cycle Policemen.

"The Stock Exchange closed, and promissory notes falling due on that
date became automatically payable on the following day. Admission to the
reviewing-stand was by card, some of which found their way into the
hands of the speculators, and will shortly be the subject of a John Doe
investigation by the district attorney of Middlesex County, so the
newspaper feller told me."

"But what is this here Lord George's at