ame the god of his idolatry. He was charitable to the poor, gave
large donations to religious societies, and rewarded those who wrote in
his praise.

His lordship about this time acquired his peculiar taste for style and
splendor; and to enhance his own importance in the world, set up an
elegant equipage, and at great cost, adorned the front of his house with
numerous figures of illustrious personages.

By his order, a tomb was dug under his summer-house in his garden,
during his life, which he mentions in "A Pikel for the Knowing Ones," in
the following ludicrous style:

"Here will lie in this box the first lord in Americake, the first Lord
Dexter made by the voice of hampsher state my brave fellows Affirmed it
they give me the titel and so Let it gone for as much as it will fetch
it wonte give me Any breade but take from me the Contrary fourder I have
a grand toume in my garding at one of the grasses and the tempel of
Reason over the toume and my coffen made and all Ready In my hous panted
with white Lead inside and outside tuched with greane and bras trimings
Eight handels and a gold Lock: I have had one mock founrel it was so
solmon and there was so much Criing about 3000 spectators I say my hous
is Eaqal to any mansion house in twelve hundred miles and now for sale
for seven hundred pounds weight of Dollars by me

TIMOTHY DEXTER."

Lord Dexter believed in transmigration, sometimes; at others he was a
deist. He died on the 22d day of Oct. 1806, in the 60th year of his age.

TELEGRAPH.

A HUSBAND telegraphed to his wife: "What have you got for breakfast, and
how is the baby?" The answer came back, "Buckwheat cakes and the
measles."

CONUNDRUMS.

WHAT tune is that which ladies never call for? Why, the spit-toon.

When is a lady's neck not a neck? When it is a little bare. (_bear!_)

When is music like vegetables? When there are two _beats_ to the
measure.

Why was the elephant the last animal going into Noah's ark? Because he
waited for his trunk.

Why is a poor horse greater than Napoleon? Because in him there are
_many_ bony parts.

NEAT REPLY.

A LADY wished a seat. A portly, handsome gentleman brought one and
seated her. "Oh, you're a jewel," said she. "Oh, no," replied he, "I'm a
jeweller--I have just set the jewel." Could there have been anything
more gallant than that?

ON THE STUMP.

A SPEAKER at a stump meeting out West, declared that he knew no East, no