Jones for twenty roses. He's one of my best
customers, so I'll throw in ten more for good measure."--_Edwin Tarrisse_.

A small boy who had recently passed his fifth birthday was riding in a
suburban car with his mother, when they were asked the customary
question, "How old is the boy?" After being told the correct age, which
did not require a fare, the conductor passed on to the next person.

The boy sat quite still as if pondering over some question, and then,
concluding that full information had not been given, called loudly to
the conductor, then at the other end of the car: "And mother's
thirty-one!"

The late John Bigelow, the patriarch of diplomats and authors, and the
no less distinguished physician and author, Dr. S. Weir Mitchell, were
together, several years ago, at West Point. Dr. Bigelow was then
ninety-two, and Dr. Mitchell eighty.

The conversation turned to the subject of age. "I attribute my many
years," said Dr. Bigelow, "to the fact that I have been most abstemious.
I have eaten sparingly, and have not used tobacco, and have taken little
exercise."

"It is just the reverse in my case," explained Dr. Mitchell. "I have
eaten just as much as I wished, if I could get it; I have always used
tobacco, immoderately at times; and I have always taken a great deal of
exercise."

With that, Ninety-Two-Years shook his head at Eighty-Years and said,
"Well, you will never live to be an old man!"--_Sarah Bache Hodge_.

A wise man never puts away childish things.--_Sidney Dark_.

To the old, long life and treasure;
To the young, all health and pleasure.

--_Ben Jonson_.

Youth is a blunder; Manhood a struggle; Old Age a regret.--_Disraeli_.

We do not count a man's years, until he has nothing else to
count.--_Emerson_.

To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful
than to be forty years old.--_O.W. Holmes_.

AGENTS

"John, whatever induced you to buy a house in this forsaken region?"

"One of the best men in the business."--_Life_.

AGRICULTURE

A farmer, according to this definition, is a man who makes his money on
the farm and spends it in town. An agriculturist is a man who makes his
money in town and spends it on the farm.

In certain parts of the west, where without irrigation the cultivators
of the land would be in a bad way indeed, the light rains that during
the growing season fall from time to time, are appreciated to a degr