lando Day presents Allen Ainsworth's part to-night at the
Criterion."

Then it occurred to him, "Why not tell them all?" So he repeated the
message to a dozen or more important persons.

At a late hour of the same day, in the Garrick Club, a lounging
gentleman produced one of the telegrams, and read it to a group of
friends. A chorus of exclamations followed the reading: "Why, I got
precisely the same message!" "And so did I." "And I, too." "Who is
Orlando Day?" "What beastly cheek!" "Did the ass fancy that one would
pay any attention to his wire?"

J. M. Barrie, the famous author and playwright, who was present, was the
only one who said nothing.

"Didn't he wire you too?" asked one of the group.

"Oh, yes."

"But of course you didn't answer."

"Oh, but it was only polite to send an answer after he had taken the
trouble to wire me. So, of course, I answered him."

"You did! What did you say?"

"Oh, I just telegraphed him: 'Thanks for timely warning.'"

Twinkle, twinkle, lovely star!
How I wonder if you are
When at home the tender age
You appear when on the stage.

--_Mary A. Fairchild_.

Recipe for an actor:

To one slice of ham add assortment of roles.
Steep the head in mash notes till it swells,
Garnish with onions, tomatoes and beets,
Or with eggs--from afar--in the shells.

--_Life_.

Recipe for an ingenue:

A pound and three-quarters of kitten,
Three ounces of flounces and sighs;
Add wiggles and giggles and gurgles,
And ringlets and dimples and eyes.

--_Life_.

ADAPTATION

"I know a nature-faker," said Mr. Bache, the author, "who claims that a
hen of his last month hatched, from a setting of seventeen eggs,
seventeen chicks that had, in lieu of feathers, fur.

"He claimed that these fur-coated chicks were a proof of nature's
adaptation of all animals to their environment, the seventeen eggs
having been of the cold-storage variety."

ADDRESSES

In a large store a child, pointing to a shopper exclaimed, "Oh, mother,
that lady lives the same place we do. I just heard her say, 'Send it up
C.O.D.' Isn't that where we live?"

An Englishman went into his local library and asked for Frederic
Harrison's _George Washington and other American Addresses_. In a little
while he brought back the book to the librarian and said:

"This book does not give me what I require; I want to find out the
addresses of several American magnat