s."

MCCCX.--TRUE OF BOTH.

"I SWEAR," said a gentleman to his mistress, "you are very
handsome."--"Pooh!" said the lady, "so you would say if you did not
think so."--"And so you would _think_," answered he, "though I should
not _say so_."

MCCCXI.--A POSER.

A LECTURER, wishing to explain to a little girl the manner in which a
lobster casts his shell when he has outgrown it, said, "What do you do
when you have outgrown your clothes? You throw them aside, don't
you?"--"O no!" replied the little one, "_we let out the tucks_!" The
doctor confessed she had the advantage of him there.

MCCCXII.--VERY APPROPRIATE.

A FACETIOUS old gentleman, who thought his two sons consumed too much
time in hunting and shooting, styled them _Nimrod_ and _Ramrod_.

MCCCXIII.--A BAD JUDGE.

UPON the occasion of the birth of the Princess Royal, the Duke of
Wellington was in the act of leaving Buckingham Palace, when he met Lord
Hill; in answer to whose inquiries about Her Majesty and the little
stranger, his grace replied, "Very fine child, and very red, very red;
nearly as red as you, _Hill_!" a jocose allusion to Lord Hill's claret
complexion.

MCCCXIV.--WHITE HANDS.

IN a country market a lady, laying her hand upon a joint of veal, said,
"Mr. Smallbone, I think this veal is not quite so white as
usual."--"_Put on your gloves_, madam," replied the butcher, "and you
will think differently." The lady did so, and the veal was ordered home
immediately.

MCCCXV.--TRUE TO THE LETTER.

IT may be all very well to say that the office of a tax-gatherer needs
no great ability for the fulfilment of its duties, but there is no
employment which requires such constant _application_.

MCCCXVI.--SIR WALTER SCOTT AND CONSTABLE.

SCOTT is known to have profited much by Constable's bibliographical
knowledge, which was very extensive. The latter christened "Kenilworth,"
which Scott named "Cumnor Hall." John Ballantyne objected to the former
title, and told Constable the result would be "something worthy of the
kennel"; but the result proved the reverse. Mr. Cadell relates that
Constable's vanity boiled over so much at this time, on having his
suggestions gone into, that, in his high moods, he used to stalk up and
down his room, and exclaim, "By Jove, I am _all but_ the author of the
Waverley Novels!"

MCCCXVII.--TRUE PHILOSOPHY.

LE SAGE, the author of Gil Blas,