when taking his leave of him, said: "Good by, my dear Selwyn; I
hope you will not _disagree_ with the man who eats you!"

MDCXXII.--MATRIMONY.

"MY dear, what makes you always yawn?"
The wife exclaimed, her temper gone,
"Is home so dull and dreary?"
"Not so, my love," he said, "Not so;
But man and wife are _one_, you know;
And when _alone_ I'm weary!"

MDCXXIII.--DRY, BUT NOT THIRSTY.

CURRAN, conversing with Sir Thomas Turton, happened to remark that he
could never speak in public for a quarter of an hour without moistening
his lips; to which Sir Thomas replied that, in that respect, he had the
advantage of him: "I spoke," said he, "the other night in the House of
Commons for five hours, on the Nabob of Oude, and never felt in the
least thirsty."--"It _is_ very remarkable indeed" rejoined Curran, "for
every one agrees that was the _driest_ speech of the session."

MDCXXIV.--SHAKESPEARIAN GROG.

AS for the brandy, "nothing extenuate,"--and the water, "put naught in,
in malice."

MDCXXV.--A JURY CASE.

CURRAN, speaking of his loss of business in the Court of Chancery caused
by Lord Clare's hostility to him, and of the consequent necessity of
resuming _nisi prius_ business, said: "I had been under full sail to
fortune; but the tempest came, and nearly wrecked me, and ever since I
have been only bearing up under _jury_-masts."

MDCXXVI.--SOMETHING TO BE GRATEFUL FOR.

LORD ALVANLEY, after his duel with young O'Connell, gave a guinea to the
hackney-coachman who had driven him to and from the scene of the
encounter. The man, surprised at the largeness of the sum, said, "My
Lord, I only took you to--" Alvanley interrupted him with, "My friend,
the guinea is for _bringing me back_, not for taking me out."

MDCXXVII.--"THE RULING PASSION STRONG IN DEATH."

A DYING miser sent for his solicitor, and said, "Now begin, and I will
dictate particulars."--"I give and I bequeath," commenced the man of
law. "No, no," interrupted the testator; "I do nothing of the kind; I
will never give or bequeath anything: I cannot do it."--"Well, then,"
suggested the attorney, after some consideration, "suppose you say, 'I
_lend_, until the last day?'"--"Yes, yes, _that will do_," eagerly
rejoined the miser.

MDCXXVIII.--AN ENDLESS TASK.

WHO seeks to please all men each way,
And not himself offend,
He may begin