d, that he exclaimed, "Good! good! can you add to this couple's
distress in the last act?"--"O, very easily," said the poet, "I intend
to _put them into the Ecclesiastical Court_."

MCCCLXVI.--CONSERVATIVE LOGIC.

"TAXES are equal is a dogma which
I'll prove at once," exclaimed a Tory boor;
"Taxation _hardly presses_ on the rich,
And likewise _presses hardly_ on the poor."

MCCCLXVII.--THE BEST WINE.

SHERIDAN being asked what wine he liked best, replied, "The wine of
_other people_."

MCCCLXVIII.--A VALUABLE BEAVER.

A GRAND entertainment taking place at Belvoir Castle, on the occasion of
the coming of age of the Marquis of Granby, the company were going out
to see the fireworks, when Theodore Hook came in great tribulation to
the Duke of Rutland, who was standing near Sir Robert Peel, and said:
"Now isn't this provoking? I've lost my hat. What can I do?"--"Why did
you part with your hat? I never do," said his Grace. "Ay!" rejoined
Theodore, "but you have especial good reasons for sticking to _your
Beaver_" (Belvoir).

MCCCLXIX.--SOMETHING TO POCKET.

A DIMINUTIVE lawyer appearing as witness in one of the Courts, was asked
by a gigantic counsellor what profession he was of; and having replied
that he was an attorney,--"You a lawyer!" said Brief; "why I could put
you in my pocket."--"Very likely you may," rejoined the other; "and if
you do, you will have more law in your _pocket_ than ever you had in
your _head_."

MCCCLXX.--UP AND DOWN.

AT the Irish bar, Moran Mahaffy, Esq., was as much above the middle size
as Mr. Collis was below it. When Lord Redesdale was Lord Chancellor of
Ireland, Messrs. Mahaffy and Collis happened to be retained in the same
case a short time after his lordship's elevation, and before he was
acquainted personally with the Irish bar. Mr. Collis was opening the
motion, when Lord R. observed, "Mr. Collis, when a barrister addresses
the court, he must stand."--"I am standing on the bench, my lord," said
Collis. "I beg a thousand pardons," replied his lordship, somewhat
confused; "sit down, Mr. Mahaffy."--"I _am sitting_, my lord," was the
reply to the confounded Chancellor.

MCCCLXXI.--A POOR SUBSTITUTE.

THE Rev. Mr. Johnston was one of those rough but quaint preachers of the
former generation who were fond of visiting and good living. While
seated at the table of a good lady in a neighboring parish, sh