LY FLATTERY.

A GENTLEMAN was asked by Mrs. Woffington, what difference there was
between her and her watch; to which he instantly replied, "Your watch,
madam, makes us _remember_ the hours, and you make us _forget_ them."

MCDLIV.--EPIGRAM ON TWO CONTRACTORS.

TO gull the public two contractors come,
One pilfers corn,--the other cheats in rum.
Which is the greater knave, ye wits explain,
A rogue in _spirit_, or a rogue in _grain_?

MCDLV.--TRAVELLERS SEE STRANGE THINGS.

A TRAVELLER, when asked whether, in his youth, he had gone _through
Euclid_, was not quite sure, but he thought it was a _small village_
between Wigan and Preston.

MCDLVI.--AN UNCONSCIOUS INSULT.

A FRENCHMAN, who had learned English, wished to lose no opportunity of
saying something pretty. One evening he observed to Lady R., whose dress
was fawn color, and that of her daughter pink, "Milady, your daughter is
de _pink_ of beauty."--"Ah, monsieur, you Frenchmen always
flatter."--"No, madam, I only do speak the truth, and what all de world
will allow, that your daughter is de pink, and you are de _drab_ of
fashion."

MCDLVII.--A CLOSE TRANSLATION.

A COUNTRY gentleman, wishing to be civil to Dr. B----, a translator of
Juvenal, said, "What particularly convinces me of the faithfulness of
your translation is, that _in places where I do not understand Juvenal,
I likewise do not understand you_."

MCDLVIII.--NEW RELATIONSHIP.

A STRANGER to law courts hearing a judge call a sergeant "brother,"
expressed his surprise. "O," said one present, "they are
brothers,--_brothers-in-law_."

MCDLIX.--ONLY A NINEPIN.

THE Earl of Lonsdale was so extensive a proprietor, and patron of
boroughs, that he returned nine members to Parliament, who were
facetiously called Lord Lonsdale's ninepins. One of the members thus
designated, having made a very extravagant speech in the House of
Commons, was answered by Mr. Burke in a vein of the happiest sarcasm,
which elicited from the House loud and continued cheers. Mr. Fox,
entering the House just as Mr. Burke was sitting down, inquired of
Sheridan what the House was cheering. "O, nothing of consequence,"
replied Sheridan, "only Burke has knocked down one of _Lord Lonsdale's
ninepins_."

MCDLX.--DR. WALCOT'S REQUEST FOR IVORY TICKETS, SENT TO SHIELD, THE
COMPOSER.

SON of the string (I do not mean Jack Ketch,
Thoug