ng from _a similar affection_, and have tried _in vain to cure
it_."

MDXIX.--TELL IT NOT IN ENGLAND.

LADY CARTERET, wife of the Lord-Lieutenant of Ireland, in Swift's time,
one day said to the wit, "The air of this country is very good."--"Don't
say so in England, my lady," quickly replied the dean, "for if you do
they will certainly _tax_ it."

MDXX.--FASHION AND VIRTUE.

"WHAT'S fashionable, I'll maintain
Is always right," cries sprightly Jane;
"Ah! would to Heaven," cries graver Sue,
"What's _right_ were fashionable too."

MDXXI.--PROFESSIONAL COMPANIONS.

A GENTLEMAN, who was dining with another, praised the meat very much,
and inquired who was his butcher. "His name is Addison."--"Addison!"
echoed the guest; "pray is he any relation to the poet?"--"I can't say:
but this I know, he is seldom without his _Steel_ by his side."

MDXXII.--WHY MASTER OF THE HOUSE.

A TRAVELLER coming up to an inn door, said: "Pray, friend, are you the
master of this house?"--"Yes, sir," answered Boniface, "my wife has been
_dead these three weeks_."

MDXXIII.--PRECAUTIONARY.

LORD JOHN RUSSELL, remarkable for the smallness of his person as Lord
Nugent was for the reverse, was expected at a house where Sydney Smith
was a guest. "Lord John comes here to-day," said Sydney Smith, "his
corporeal anti-part, Lord Nugent, is already here. Heaven send he may
not _swallow John_! There are, however, _stomach-pumps_ in case of
accident."

MDXXIV.--A LATE DISCOVERER.

A VERY dull man, after dinner, had been boring the company with a long
discourse, in the course of which he had given utterance to ethical
views as old as the hills, as though he had just discovered them. When
he had done repeating his truisms, Charles Lamb gravely said: "Then,
sir, you are actually prepared to maintain that a thief is not
_altogether a moral man_."

MDXXV.--LINES TO O'KEEFE.

(Said to be written by Peter Pindar.)

THEY say, O'Keefe,
Thou art a thief,
That half thy works are stolen or more;
I say O'Keefe,
Thou art no thief,
Such stuff was never writ before!

MDXXVI.--PROFESSION AND PRACTICE.

A YOUNG lawyer who had been "admitted" about a year, was asked by a
friend, "How do you like your new profession?" The reply was accompanied
by a brief sigh to suit the occasion: "My _profession_ is much better