II.--A QUESTION OF DESCENT.

A YORKSHIRE nobleman, who was fond of boasting of his Norman descent,
said to one of his tenants, whom he thought was not addressing him with
proper respect: "Do you know, fellow, that my ancestors came over with
William the Conqueror?"--"And, perhaps," retorted the sturdy Saxon,
"they _found mine here_ when they comed."

MDCXLIV.--PLEASANT FOR A FATHER.

A LAIRD'S eldest son was rather a simpleton. Laird says, "I am going to
send the young laird abroad."--"What for?" asks the tenant. Laird
answered, "To see the world." Tenant replied, "But lordsake, laird, will
no the world see _him_?"

MDCXLV.--A RULE OF PRACTICE.

IT was said of a Bath physician, that he could not prescribe even for
himself without a _fee_, and therefore, when unwell, he took a guinea
out of one pocket and put it _into the other_.

MDCXLVI.--WITS AGREEING.

WHEN Foote was one day lamenting his growing old, a _pert_ young fellow
asked him what he would give to be as _young_ as he. "I would be
content," cried Foote, "to be as _foolish_." Jerrold made a similar
reply to an empty-headed fellow who boasted of never being seasick.
"Never!" said Douglas; "then I'd almost have your head with your
stomach."

MDCXLVII.--LITERARY PASTIME.

ONCE a gentleman, who had the marvellous gift of shaping a great many
things out of orange-peel, was displaying his abilities at a
dinner-party before Theodore Hook and Mr. Thomas Hill, and succeeded in
counterfeiting a pig. Mr. Hill tried the same feat; and, after
destroying and strewing the table with the peel of a dozen oranges, gave
it up, with the exclamation, "Hang the pig! I _can't_ make him."--"Nay,
Hill," exclaimed Hook, glancing at the mess on the table, "you have done
more; instead of one pig, you have made a _litter_."

MDCXLVIII.--A FREE TRANSLATION.

MANNERS, who had himself but lately been made Earl of Rutland, told Sir
Thomas More "he was too much elated with his preferment; that he
verified the old proverb, 'Honores mutant mores.'"--"No, my lord," said
Sir Thomas, "the pun will do much better in English, 'Honors _change_
Manners.'"

MDCXLIX.--AN EQUIVOCAL PREFERENCE.

A GENTLEMAN was describing to Douglas Jerrold the story of his courtship
and marriage,--how his wife had been brought up in a convent, and was on
the point of taking the veil, when his presence burst upon her
enraptured sight, and she accept