I.--THE WAY TO KEW.

HOOK, in the supposed character of Gower-street undergraduate, says:
"One problem was given me to work which I did in a twinkling. Given _C A
B_ to find _Q_. _Answer_: Take your _C A B_ through Hammersmith, turn to
the left just before you come to Brentford, and Kew is right before
you."

MCCCLIV.--ABOVE PROOF.

AN East-India Governor having died abroad, his body was put in arrack,
to preserve it for interment, in England. A sailor on board the ship
being frequently drunk, the captain forbade the purser, and indeed all
in the ship, to let him have any liquor. Shortly after the fellow
appeared very drunk. How he obtained the liquor, no one could guess. The
captain resolved to find out, promising to forgive him if he would tell
from whom he got the liquor. After some hesitation, he hiccupped out,
"Why, please your honor, I _tapped the Governor_."

MCCCLV.--AWKWARD ORTHOGRAPHY.

MATHEWS once went to Wakefield, then, from commercial failures, in a
dreadful state. In vain did he announce his inimitable "Youthful Days";
the Yorkshiremen came not. When he progressed to Edinburgh, a friend
asked him if he made much money in Wakefield. "Not a shilling!" was the
reply. "Not a shilling!" reiterated his astonished acquaintance. "Why,
didn't you go there _to star_?"--"Yes," replied Mathews, with mirthful
mournfulness; "but they spell it with a _ve_ in Wakefield."

MCCCLVI.--MISS WILBERFORCE.

WHEN Mr. Wilberforce was a candidate for Hull, his sister, an amiable
and witty young lady, offered the compliment of a new gown to each of
the wives of those freemen who voted for her brother, on which she was
saluted with a cry of "Miss Wilberforce _for ever_!" when she pleasantly
observed, "I thank you, gentlemen, but I can not agree with you; for
really, I do not wish to be _Miss Wilberforce for ever_!"

MCCCLVII.--WRITTEN ON THE UNION, 1801, BY A BARRISTER OF DUBLIN.

WHY should we explain, that the times are so bad,
Pursuing a querulous strain?
When Erin gives up all the rights that she had,
What _right has she left to complain_?

MCCCLVIII.--A COOL PROPOSITION.

AT the breaking up of a fashionable party at the west end of town, one
of the company said he was about to "drop in" at Lady Blessington's;
whereupon a young gentleman, a perfect stranger to the speaker, very
modestly said, "O then, you can take me with you; I want very much to