he
purpose of telling him that the time at which the funeral was to have
taken place had been changed. "Sir," says he, "my master _sends his
compliments_ to you, and he won't be buried till to-morrow evening."

MDCLVII.--A SUPERFLUOUS SCRAPER.

FOOTE, being annoyed by a poor fiddler straining harsh discord under
his window, sent him out a shilling, with a request that he would play
elsewhere, as _one scraper at the door_ was sufficient.

MDCLVIII.--COMPARATIVE VIRTUE.

A SHOPKEEPER at Doncaster had for his virtues obtained the name of the
_little rascal_. A stranger asked him why this appellation had been
given to him. "To distinguish me from the rest of my trade," quoth he,
"who are all _great rascals_."

MDCLIX.--GARTH AND ROWE.

DOCTOR GARTH, who used frequently to go to the Wit's Coffee House, the
Cocoa-Tree, in St. James's Street, was sitting there one morning
conversing with two persons of rank, when Rowe, the poet, who was seldom
very attentive to his dress and appearance, but still insufferably vain
of being noticed by persons of consequence, entered. Placing himself in
a box nearly opposite to that in which the doctor sat, he looked
constantly round with a view of catching his eye; but not succeeding, he
desired the waiter to ask him for his snuff-box, which he knew to be a
valuable one, set with diamonds, and the present of some foreign prince.
After taking a pinch, he returned the box, but asked for it again so
repeatedly, that Garth, who knew him well, perceived the drift, and
taking from his pocket a pencil, wrote on the lid the two Greek
characters, [Greek: Ph R] (phi, rho) _Fie! Rowe!_ The poet was so
mortified, that he quitted the room immediately.

MDCLX.--A SECRET DISCOVERED.

'T IS clear why Twister, wretched rat,
Always abuses in his chatter:
He's truly such a thorough flat,
We can't expect to see him _flatter_.

MDCLXI.--INTERESTED INQUIRY.

AN attorney-general politely inquired after the health of a
distinguished judge. "Mr. Attorney," was the reply, "_I am in horrible
good health at present_."

MDCLXII.--A BEARABLE PUN.

AN illiterate vendor of beer wrote over his door at Harrogate, "_Bear_
sold here."--"He spells the word quite correctly," said Theodore Hook,
"if he means to apprise us that the article is his own _Bruin_."

MDCLXIII.--CITY GLUTTON.

THE celebrated John Wilkes attended a Ci