hed her hair, her
gown off, and now I saw her legs, and most of her breast, which looked
to me enormous.

Then I noticed hair in her armpits; it must have been the first time I
noticed any thing of the sort, for I told a boy afterwards, that grown
women had hair under their armpits; he said every fool knew that. When
she had done brushing, she turned round, and passing the door, shut it:
she had not seen me.

I fell in love with this woman, an undefined want took possession of me,
I was always kissing her, and she returned it without hesitation. "Hush!
your mamma's coming"; then she would work, or do something with the
children if there, as demurely as possible. I declare positively as I
write this, that I believe I gave that woman a lewed pleasure in kissing
me, her kisses were so much like those I have had from women, I have
fucked in after years, so long, and soft, and squeezing.

One day, I was in the sitting-room laying on the sofa reading, she
sitting and working; where the children were, where my mother was, I
can't say: they must have been out, why this servant was in the room
with me alone, I don't know. On a table was something the doctor had
ordered me to sip, from time to time. "Come and sit near me, I like to
touch you, dear" (I used to say dear to her). She drew her chair to the
sofa, so that her thighs were near my head, she handed me my medicine,
I turned on one side, put my head on her lap, and then my hand on her
knee. "Kiss me." "I can't." I moved my head up and she bent forward and
kissed. "Keep your face to mine, I want to tell you something." Then
I told her I had seen her brushing her hair, her breasts, her armpits.
"Oh! you sly boy! you naughty boy! you must not do it again, will you?"
"Won't I, if I get the chance; put your head down, I've something more
to tell you." "What?" "I can't if you look at me; put your ear to my
mouth."

I was longing to tell her, and could not do it whilst she looked at me.
I recollect my bashfulness perfectly, and more than that, my fear of
saying what I wanted to say.

She bent her ear to my mouth. "I heard you piddle." "Oh! you naughty!"
and she burst into a quiet laugh. "I'll take care to shut the door in
future." I let my hand drop by the side of the sofa, laid hold of her
ankle, then the calve of her leg (without resistance); then up I slid
it gently, and gradually above her garter, and felt the flesh; she was
threading a needle. As I touched the thigh, sh