ing liquids,--the delight spreads electrically through our
bodies,--up comes her belly,--shorter are my shoves,--a quivering
wriggle to get deeper up her--and we both spend together, as it
seems with more pleasure than I ever did before. How strange I should
recollect this all so clearly.

The delights of the wet kisses are new to me; although not able to see
them, I thought of her exquisite teeth, and rolled my tongue over them.
She kisses me, still holds me, again my hand goes down to feel the parts
now separating, slobbered, and sticky with past joy; out comes my prick,
and then she speaks. "No-no," she sits up, I by her side, my hand on her
naked thighs for a minute. She gets up, gives me a long kiss, goes to
her room, and soon after comes down, her eyes wet with crying, "Don't
come near me, don't be unkind, let me alone," she says. Her manner was
so commanding, that I let her go to the kitchen without following her.
Shortly Eliza and then my mother came home.

Mad for her again, I took to my chemistry in the back kitchen
constantly, you may be sure. When I got the chance, spoke of our
pleasures and my hopes. "We ought," said she, "both to be ashamed of
ourselves, but I especially who am so many years older than you, ought
to have known better; if I am punished it will serve me right. Oh! if
you don't hold your tongue! My risk is more than you have any idea of."
All was said in a way as if she were preaching, and looking me full in
the face.

She refused what I wanted and avoided me, but it was impossible for her
altogether to escape me. Risking everything, emboldened by impunity with
Charlotte, I used to clutch her knees, and put my head up her clothes,
kissing and smelling her motte, I began to love the smell of it. She
used to dislodge me, and neither made a noise, nor uttered a word in
doing so--indeed she rarely spoke at any time. But it is difficult for
a woman who has been fucked by a man to refuse him again; I watched my
opportunities, my conversation broken as it was, and rarely but for a
minute at a time, was one repetition of lustful wants and prayers; I
used to pull my prick out, beg her to see and feel it. At length she
did, saying, "May God forgive me for my weakness." That day I fucked her
again standing in the kitchen, and a second time a few hours afterwards
in the dusk, which experience began to show me was the time she was most
accessible; the other servant was somewhere in the house at the time