felt ashamed, but was mad with lust. "A youth like you, and so
quiet as you look." "Youth! I am a man, have had women, feel me, let me
feel you, oh! do feel me." I had my prick out. To get better at her,
go from the fender on to my knees, and was pushing my hand between her
thighs with energy. Pulling her bum back, she stooped, and her face came
near mine. "Kiss me, feel me, and I will indeed leave off, I have seen
your belly, let me feel it, and I will leave off." "You will break
your word again," said she. "I swear not." She put her face to mine and
kissed me, her right hand dropped, and gently laid hold of my prick, her
thighs just so little opened that my fingers passed the hair and felt
the smooth inner face of the lips; it was too much for me, for some
hours my prick had been standing off and on, I had been pulling it
about, longing and hoping to use it, and for a long time no emission had
left it.

I felt my sperm coming, and could not stop it, my arse jogged and
pushed my prick involuntarily between her fingers, pleasure suddenly
overwhelmed me, and kissing her I spent in her hand--all the work of
half a minute. Then burning shame came over me, I could kiss her no
longer, dared not look her in the face, nor keep my hand between her
thighs, but rose quickly and without a word rushed upstairs to my
bed-room.

I have done for myself I thought, what a beast she will think me, I
shall never dare to speak to her again, and was ready to cry; little
knowing then that every step in baudiness, is a step towards the
end, and that my spunk on her hand, would help me to shed some in her
elsewhere.

Feeling so uncomfortable I went out; calling out to the housemaid, that
I should be home about eight o'clock, went to a friend's, had dinner,
but could not talk nor scarcely eat. My friend joked and asked if I was
in love. My prick was standing again after I had eaten, I went home,
making up my mind to go to bed early, preferring solitude and my own
thoughts; it was about seven P. M., to my astonishment Mary opened the
door. I felt my face hot, and could scarcely look at her; she was
as tranquil as ever, nothing ever seemed to disturb that woman. This
tranquility reassured me, the more so when I found mother was still out.
The housemaid had gone out to make a few purchases, leaving Mary alone
with Tommy, who she was just going to put to bed, and upstairs she went
with him for that purpose, without speaking to me.

What a cha