e baudy talk I could,
little Tom sitting on the floor playing contentedly. I must have been
half an hour on my knees, which became so painful, that I could scarcely
bear it; we were both panting, I was sweating; an experienced man would
perhaps have had her then; I was a boy inexperienced, and without her
consent almost in words, would not have thought of attempting it; the
novelty, the voluptuousness of my game was perhaps sufficient delight to
me; at last I became conscious that my fingers on her cunt were getting
wet; telling her so, she became furious and burst into such a flood
of tears, that it alarmed me. It was impossible to remain on my knees
longer, in rising, I knew I should be obliged to take my hand from her
cunt, so withdrawing my left hand from her waist, I put it also suddenly
up her clothes, and round her bum, and lifted them up, showing both
her thighs, whilst I attempted to rise. She got up at the same instant,
pushing down her clothes, I fell over on one side,--my knees were so
stiff and painful--and she rushed out of the room upstairs.

It was getting dusk, I sat on the sofa in a state of pleasure, smelling
my fingers. Tom began to howl, she came down and took him up to pacify
him, I followed her down to the kitchen, she called me an insolent
boy (an awful taunt to me then), threatened to tell my mother, to give
notice and leave, and left the kitchen, followed by me about the house;
talking baudily,

telling her how I liked the smell of my fingers, attempting to put my
hand up her clothes, sometimes succeeding, pulling out my ballocks, and
never ceasing until the cook came home, having been at this game for
hours. In a sudden funk, I begged Charlotte to tell my mother, that I
had only come home just before the cook, and had got to be unwell; she
replying she would tell my mother the truth, and nothing else. I was in
my bed-room before cook was let in.

Mother came home later, I was in a fright having laid in bed cooling
down, and thinking of possible consequences; heard the street-door
knocker, got out of bed, and in my night-shirt went half way downstairs
listening. To my relief, I heard Charlotte in answer to my mother's
enquiry, say I had come home about an hour before, and had gone to bed
unwell. My mother came to my room, saying how sorry she was.

For a few days I was in fear, but it gradually wore off, as I found she
had not told; our kissing recommenced, my boldness increased, my talk
ra