Why leapest thou
So high within my breast?
Oh, stay thee now,
Oh, stay thee now,
Thou little bounder, rest!

--Ruskin (at 12).

Something had happened wrong about a bill,
Which was not drawn with true mercantile skill,
So to amend it I was told to go
To seek the firm of Clutterbuck & Co.

--George Crabbe.

But let me not entirely overlook
The pleasure gathered from the rudiments
Of geometric science.

--Wordsworth.

Israel in ancient days
Not only had a view
Of Sinai in a blaze,
But heard the Gospel too.

--Cowper.

Flashed from his bed the electric message came;
He is no better; he is much the same.

--A Cambridge prize poem.

* * *

A household hinter advises that "if the thin white curtains blow into
the gas and catch fire sew small lead weights into the seams." Before
doing this, however, it would be wise to turn in an alarm.

* * *

The orchestra was playing too loud to suit the manager, so he complained
to the leader. "The passage is written in forte," said the latter.
"Well, make it about thirty-five."

* * *

SEIZE HIM, SCOUTS!

Sir: I submit for the consideration of the new school of journalism the
following, recently perpetrated by an aspiring young journalist:
"Information has been received that Mrs. Blank, who was spending a
vacation of several weeks in Colorado, was killed in an automobile
accident over long distance telephone by her husband."

Calcitrosus.

* * *

"THAT'S GOOD."

Sir: A man and three girls were waiting for the bus. The driver slowed
up long enough to call, "Full house!" "Three queens!" responded the
waiting cit, and turned disgustedly away.

X. T. C.

* * *

WHY BANK CLERKS ARE TIRED.

Sir: Voice over the telephone: "Please send me two check books."

B. C.: "Large or small?"

V. o. t. t.: "Well, I don't write such very large checks, but sometimes
they amount to a hundred dollars."

Jane.

* * *

"Why not make room for daddy?" queries the editor of the Emporia
Gazette, with a break in his voice. Daddy, we hardly need say, is the
silently suffering