in her books.

* * *

A sign, reported by B. R. J., in a Cedar Rapids bank announces: "We loan
money on Liberty bonds. No other security required." Showing that here
and there you will find a banker who is willing to take a chance.

* * *

The first object of the National Parks association is "to fearlessly
defend the national parks and monuments against assaults of private
interests." May we not hope that the w. k. infinitive also may be
preserved intact?

* * *

A missionary from the Chicago Woman's Club lectured in Ottawa on better
English and less slang, and the local paper headed its story: "Bum
Jabber Binged on Beezer by Jane With Trick Lingo."

* * *

Young Grimes tells us that he would like to share in the advantages of
Better Speech weeks, but does not know where to begin. We have started
him off with the word "February." If at the end of the week he can
pronounce it Feb-ru-ary we shall give him the word "address."

* * *

"This, being Better English week, everyone is doing their best to
improve their English."--Quincy, Mich., Herald.

Still, Jane Austen did it.

* * *

BETTER ENGLISH IN THE BEANERY.

Waiter: "Small on two--well!"

Chef: "Small well on two!"

Tip.

* * *

HAPPY THOUGHT.

This world is so full of a number of singers,
We need not be bluffed any longer by ringers.

The Magic Kit.

A FAIRY TALE FOR SYMPATHETIC
ELDERS.

I.

Once upon a time, not far removed from yesterday, there lived a poor
book reviewer named Abner Skipp. He was a kindly man and an excellent
husband and a most congenial soul to chat with, for he possessed a store
of information on the most remote and bootless subjects drawn from his
remarkable library--an accumulation of volumes sent to him for review,
and which he had been unable to dispose of to the dealers in second-hand
books. For you are to understand that too little literary criticism is
done on a cash basis. Occasionally a famous author, like Mr. Howells, is
paid real money to write something about Mr. James, or Mr. James is
substantially rewarded for writing about Mr. Howells, and heads of
departments and special workers are handsomely remunerated; but the
journeyman reviewer is paid in books; and these are the source of his
income.

Thus, every morning in the busy