* * *

THE SECOND POST.

[Received by a wholesale grocery house, from an Italian customer.]

Gentlemen: My wife wants me to suggest that you observe one of our
Italian customs by remembering her with a bit of Christmas cheer. As she
is the only wife I got I trust you will help me keep her.

Joe.

* * *

DENTAL FLOSS.

Sir: D. Seiver is a dentist on Kedzie avenue. If I were a complete
contrib, I might head this, "Now, this isn't going to hurt a bit," but,
as I am not, I merely proceed to nominate C. O. Soots, of North Salem,
Ind., as chief chimney sweep to the Academy, and propose the Rev. Ed. V.
Belles of the First Presbyterian Church of Northville, Mich., to ring in
the new for the members. As a substitute for Mr. D. Seiver, you might
induce the nominating committee to accept Dr. J. Byron Ache, a dentist
of Uniontown, Pa.

Ballysloughguttery.

* * *

The melancholy days have come
For him who's naturally glum:
But for the man whose liver's right
These Autumn days are pure delight.

* * *

"Complains He Was Called Sexagenarian--Candidate Says Many Voters
Thought It Had to Do With Sex."--Boston Herald.

Flattered, but unappreciative.

* * *

Lady Godiva writes from Loz Onglaze: "Have been having wonderful
weather. Quite warm yesterday, the first of December. Riding around with
just my fur cape on."

* * *

Some people hold potatoes for higher prices, while others, like
Scribner's Sons, hold sets of Henry James' novels at $130, an increase
of $82 over the original price.

* * *

JUST ABOUT.

Sir: How long do you suppose the Snow Ball Laundry will last in Quinter,
Kansas? The proprietor is G. W. Burns.

P. V. W.

* * *

In an almanack, which is printed once a year, or in a dictionary or
encyclopedia, which is republished after ten or twenty years, you would
expect to find fewer errors than in a daily newspaper; but apparently
time has little to do with it. Consulting the Britannica's article on
Anatole France, we were inexpressibly shocked to find therein the
atrocities, "L'Ile des Penguins" and "Maurice Barres."

* * *

We were looking through the France sketch to see whether there was
mention of a story he wrote before h