n the lakes and the loon cries very often."
What traveler can better that?

* * *

Old Bill Taft pulled a good definition of a gentleman t'other day. A
gentleman, said he, is a man who never hurts anyone's feelings
unintentionally.

* * *

Mr. Generous is the claim agent for the New Haven railroad at New
Britain, Conn., but a farmer whose cow wandered upon the rails tells us
that he lost money by the settlement.

* * *

William Benzine, who lives near Rio, Wis., was filling his flivver tank
by the light of a lantern when-- But need we continue?

* * *

Our notion of a person of wide tastes is one who likes almost everything
that isn't popular.

* * *

Speaking of the Naval Station, you may have forgotten the stirring
ballad which we wrote about it during the war. If so--

YEO-HEAVE-HO!

It was a gallant farmer lad
Enlisted in the navy.
"Give me," said he, "the deep blue sea,
The ocean wide and wavy!"

A sailor's uniform he'd don,
And never would he doff it.
He packed his grip, and soon was on
His way to Captain Moffett.

In cap of white and coat of blue
He labored for the nation,
A member of the salty crew
That worked the Naval Station.

He soon became the best of tars,
A seaman more than able,
By sweeping streets, and driving cars,
And waiting on the table.

He guarded gates, and shoveled snow,
And worked upon the highway.
"_All_ lads," said he, "should plough the sea,
And would if I had _my_ way."

Week-end he took a trolley car,
And to the city hied him,
Alongside of another tar
Who offered for to guide him.

The train rolled o'er a trestle high,
The river ran below him.
"Well, I'll be blamed!" our tar exclaimed,
And grabbed his pal to show him.

"Yes, dash my weeping eyes!" he cried.
"That's water, sure, by gravy!
The first blue water I have spied
Since joining of the navy!"

* * *

Now, "landsmen all," the moral's plain:
Our navy still is arming,
And if you'd plough the well known main,
You'd best begin by farming.

If you would head a tossing prow
Among our navigators,
Get up at morn and milk the cow,
And yeo-heave-ho the 'taters.

Do up your chores, and do 'em brown,
And learn to drive a flivver;
And some day, when you